Mansfield University

Well a couple weeks ago my son, Two, moved away to college. He is a freshman at Mansfield University, which is located in the north central part of Pennsylvania, in where else but, Mansfield!

It's a four and a half hour drive if there wasn't any construction, over five and half with construction. That is an important fact we did not know when we had to be there by a specific time for "move in day".

He is going to major in Education and Mathematics so he can be a math teacher, at least those are his plans now. Things could change between now and the four years to graduation.

As a freshmen at Mansfield University, you are required to live on campus. When we visited the campus before he started, he had decided he wanted to stay in the dorm that was the furthest from the class rooms, and the one required an uphill walk to get to class. He felt that it would help to wake him up in the morning on the way to class. So on the 21st of August, we had two car loads of stuff to haul to his dorm room in the Cedarcrest Manor.

Before he left he told me he didn't plan to come back home until the holiday break. When he moved in he said he would be back in the mid-semester break at the beginning of October. After his first week, he showed up unexpectedly at my front door early Saturday morning for the Labor day weekend.

Mansfield is a state college, but a small campus, with under 4,000 students total, which means that it's more personal. The professors and staff get to know the students as people instead of numbers. The area the college in is beautiful and remote and if it wasn't for the length of the drive, I would visit more often.

Here' a welcome message from the college president to perspective students:

Please join me in wishing him good luck, good grades, and that he doesn't forget to have a little fun too!

Family Christmas...

This Saturday is my family's (by family I mean my brother and sisters) Christmas gathering which we fondly call "The Laughlin Family Christmas".

We have been doing this for quite a few years now. Each year we gather up all the kids from the four of us (there are currently 11 kids), our significant other's and any pets or friends and go to one of the family residences and eat, exchange gifts, visit and play games. Last year we had the gathering at my oldest daughter's, "One," new home. This year the holiday festivities are being held at my brother's house. My youngest sister rents the basement of my brother's place, so it technically could be her house too, but she doesn't really own it and since she is the youngest sibling, we usually don't count her anyway. (Kidding "Bugga"!)

We have a "Secret Santa" gift exchange for the old people (16 and over). The names are picked sometime around Memorial day or shortly there after. Since it is a biological trait of our family to have no short term memory, by December no one recalls who they are supposed to get a gift for, which makes one think that the secret part wouldn't work very well. However it works fine because the same lack of memory cells also means no one retains any recollection of an overheard secret name! We did finally learn to assign one person the task of keeping the official list, otherwise we would be completely lost. Anyway, we are all on a tight budget (seemingly every year), so we try to keep the cost of the gifts reasonable, at the $25 range.

The kids (those under 16) however, make out really good. They each get multiple gifts. They get a gift from each of their Aunt and Uncle pairs, except that my youngest sister currently doesn't have a guy yet so there are only three uncles... and Sweetie isn't officially an Aunt yet, but she's pretty close, so there are only three aunts. Sometimes there are a few extra gifts given out if a friend or other family member decides to be generous.

The last couple of years, we started a second "gag gift" exchange for the "old folks" called a "White Elephant"... I don't know where the name came from, but we usually have a fun time with that, probably more fun with that than the regular gift exchange.

The group shares the cooking or at least the food purchases. This year, as with most years since my ham incident (oh yeah, I haven't written about that yet), I don't cook. I am pretty good at getting snack type items like pop (soda for those in the rest of the country), chips, pretzels, etc. There is usually always plenty of food, and tons of people to eat it, and not too much goes to waste.

This year is the first Christmas without our Mom. She passed away earlier this year (no I didn't write about it). I never had a close relationship with my mom, because I was raised by my grandmother, but she was a good person, with a good heart, and I will miss her unique personality this year. I will also miss the noodles, and deviled eggs she made each year... My Dad passed away many years ago, my grandparents who raised me have also passed, so I am officially an orphan. That is if you can consider a man in his 4Th decade with 4 kids a orphan.

After the food and gift exchange, and when most people are still blind from the repeated flashes from the cameras, we decide to relax and visit or play games. Almost every year someone gets a game as a gift, so we usually hang out until late in the evening gaming, and picking on our youngest sister.

Anyone have any unique holiday traditions they care to share?

Later Lou

Last night... and this morning

Last night my youngest, "Four" had her Christmas Choral Concert. She wasn't on stage very much this year, because her grade has a very small group, but she got to be in the spotlight a few moments during a short solo! Yah! She was worried she would mess up, but she did good!

I got a few snapshots of her face with a microphone covering most of it! :-) I should have taken the photo from the side instead of straight on. Oh well, I am not the photographer that some of my readers are.

It's raining, very hard this morning. When I awoke this morning, and turned on the TV the talking head said there was a lot of freezing rain and that the roads could be icy. I immediately turned it off, and went back to sleep (for another 30 minutes) - no need to rush this morning.

(NOTE: The Red Arrow is where I am, just southwest of the ice/snow)

After I got my shower I went into the bedroom to get my clothes and noticed the shower was on in my bedroom. There were three wet spots on the ceiling, and water dripping down from all three. I just had this roof repaired over the summer, and here it is the first big rain since then and the roof is leaking... arg!

I called the roofer, but I only got his voice mail. I left my normal rambling type of message saying something about the fact that the roof was leaking and he just did the roof, and could he come look at it. I asked him to call me back, and here it is almost 2 hours later and I haven't gotten a return call yet... I know he could be busy, but I would think a roofer wouldn't be out roofing on a day like today... So what's he doing? Sleeping in too?

Well I am at work now, so I better get back to doing what I get paid for. And don't tell anyone that I was posting an entry on my blog while I was on company time... I don't think they would approve.

Later Lou

December Updates

A lot of stuff has been happening, as it usually does as the year is preparing to close. Here's a brief rundown:

1. Saturday we cleaned out the Ex's old house, what I call the Marital Home. The same house I am trying to sell because she abandoned it, and it fell on my shoulders. It seems I am perpetually cleaning up after her.
2. The 13 yard dumpster was filled to the top with stuff that she left in the place.
3. The dumpster cost me $230.
4. My realtor called last week and said that she wanted to take inside pictures of the place so they publish a "virtual tour" online. This phone call prompted the cleaning up.
5. My realtor called again this past weekend and said the people that showed interest in buying and "gutting" the place, are no longer interested, and that no one else has showed interest yet. HOWEVER, the interest rates are down in the 5% range, so she is confident this will help boost sales...
6. My brother and Sweetie helped me to clean up the mess in the martial home, and I bought them lunch (actually Sweetie paid, but I paid her back).
7. The virtual tour isn't online yet.
8. I had a big fight, actually I lost my temper, with my middle daughter, "Three", Monday night.
9. She only visits me when she needs something and then leaves when she has gotten what she needs, without spending any time with me. I told her that I was tired of being used and that my "stuff" was no longer open for use, but she was welcome to come visit.
10. Three left a voice mail on my phone last night cursing (using multiple swear words - all of the good ones) at me about fixing a computer for her boyfriend.
11. Three is only 16.
12. Went Christmas gift shopping last night with Sweetie to prepare for our annual family get together scheduled this Saturday.
13. I spent money I don't have.
14. I don't have money, because my tenant still hasn't paid December's rent (which isn't surprising given her past performance the last few months).
15. I over-drafted my bank account by $21 dollars and had to borrow money from my 17 year old son, "Two" to cover me until this Friday when I get paid (sigh).
16. One of my projects at work is causing major problems at some customer's stores, and I have to rework the project in an emergency attempt to fix the problem. Only no one, including me, knows if my "reworked" design will fix the problem.
17. I just got disposable contact lenses that can be worn for up to a month. I am wearing a "test" pair this week and if the work out I can get some more for next year. Bye bye eyeglasses!
18. Sweetie bought me a new watch for Christmas. She told me to wear it to work today, so I am. It's a gold and silver Fossil watch with four diamonds in the gold face, at the 12, 3, 6, and 9 positions. It's really nice...
19. The watch band needs adjusted slightly as it is a little loose on the wrist. Either that or she needs to keep feeding me so I can grow into it.

OK that's all I can think of at the moment...

Later Lou

Two is moving on...

Two passed his driver's test, and is now a licensed driver... Those in Western Pennsylvania - Look out!!!

I am overwhelmed with a wide a range of emotions from excitement and pride, to feelings of loss. I am excited that he succeeded. The look on his face when he walked in the testing facility with the instructor after his test spoke volumes! I was so excited that I completely forgot my PSP sitting on the bench where I was waiting, and left without it (more on that later... since that's another story). I am proud that he overcame his battle of 'nerves' and succeeded. He is not what you would call a "natural born driver", and learning to drive has been a struggle for him.

I think most parents would be proud and excited when their kids succeed at something that means a lot to them, so that's not unusual... What's unusual is my sudden feeling of loss. All of a sudden I realized yesterday that Two really won't need me as much any longer. Now that he has his own transportation, and his own source of income, I won't be asked to take him places, loan him money, or hang with him as often. I will be just a guy that he will "see occasionally" as he stops into the house to get a change of clothes or a bite to eat.

The sense of loss is bigger than I expected, I think, because my girls don't hang with me much, they tend to stay mostly at their mother's place. So I think I am beginning to experience a slight taste of the "empty nest" syndrome.

Of course, now that I have said all of this, I will of course told the world (well a small part of it anyway) that I actually do have feelings, and I do more than grunt, laugh, yell and fart. So how much of my masculinity have I undermined today?

Congrats Two! I am proud of you! I hope you continue down the road and become a better man than me! P.S... Don't forget when the car breaks down, or if you need a few bucks, or some good wise old advice... call your mom, I am going to be out having a good time! (smirk!)

Later Lou

December...

Well December has arrived... and here in Western Pennsylvania it's arrived with White Christmas weather. As I may have mentioned in the past, I am not overly fond of snow. It does, however, make the bleak, post autumn landscape look wonderful, but snow almost always accompanied by outside temperatures below 32 degrees Fahrenheit. I tend to prefer temperatures above 60, actually 70 and above, but I am willing to be a little flexible.

There are other negative aspects of snow as well. Snow creates a walking and driving hazard, which isn't much of a problem for me, but since there are a lot of people that don't know how to walk and drive in the snow, I have to go around them, or go much slower than necessary. Snow means I have to spend more time preparing to go some where than just getting in the car and going. I have to add a few layers of clothing, shovel the walk, scrape the car, and wait for the car to warm up. As bad as snow is, don't get me started on ice!

Anyway, today we have plenty of snow and a little ice, and it made the drive to work less than pleasant. It was exciting a few times, when the car slid unexpectedly, but in the morning before my brain has kicked in, I could do without that type of excitement. Today is also the day that Two has scheduled to take his driver's test to get his license. This is his second attempt, and he is extremely opposed to rescheduling.

His school's annual semi-formal dance is this Saturday, and he would like to have his license so he can drive to and from and pick up his date without needing another "licensed driver" to ride shotgun. I don't blame him for his desires, because I had a similar desire when I was his age. I remember it well... (add chimes and a fade out as we go back in time....)

I went to the driver testing station my grandfather full of confidence just a scant few days before the a big dance, and a big first date. We waited in a long line, and after about an hour, my number was called, and away I went. A few minutes later, my confidence was deflated, and I was feeling like a loser... because I had failed my driver's test. I was told I couldn't take the test again until the next day, which was only 1 day before the dance. The good news is that after a second day, and an even longer line I passed the test, got the license and drove to the dance.

So here back in present day, I am hoping history will repeat itself, and Two will succeed today. If not, he won't be able to take the test tomorrow, as there is now a longer waiting period between tests (I believe it's a week), and you have to schedule your testing time, instead of just waiting in line.

Please think good thoughts, say a quick little prayer, and cross your fingers with me and hope that all goes well this afternoon at 3PM, in the snow, in December, a few scant days before the big dance.

Later Lou

Bowling update / Weekend plans

Retalix Strikers, my bowling team, didn't bowl so well this week, or last. "Sweetie" stopped in to the bowling alley tonight with her son, "Other Two" and watched our team lose two of our three games. Last week, we only won one of three games as well, so the team has moved from first place last week, to probably 4th or 5th after tonight. Our team captain is out for a few weeks with a sore elbow on his bowling arm, so we are a player short... However, that doesn't account for our recent losses, that is due to our less than stellar athletic performance. The good news is that it is still early in the season and if we can just bowl our average or better, we can easily regain our position in first place.

This weekend my brother's wife is going out of town, and because he has to work, and his oldest son wants to play in his football and soccer games on Saturday, they are staying at home. My brother will be working at Heinz Field during the Pitt and Steelers games on Saturday and Sunday, so I get to spend time with my nephew again.

My nephew is coming over Friday night after I get done with work and is going to spend the night with me, and my kids;"Two" and "Four." I think my daughter, "Three", will be coming down as well, so I will have a full house. We may go catch up on the current movie releases at the theater, rent a movie or two, or just sit in front of the wide screen TV and play video games on the PlayStation. Saturday we get to take him to his flag football and indoor soccer games. He really enjoys soccer, but football doesn't yet seem to get his enthusiasm going.

I am really looking forward to a non-work, fun filled weekend with the nephew and the kids.

Later Lou

Nephews...

My brother has three wonderful boys. His youngest was born this past March and is still a baby. My youngest is 12 years old and in middle school, so yeah, I am the older brother.

At his oldest son's birthday last party I had gotten him a duplicate gift, a DVD that someone else had already given him. So I offered to exchange it for any other movie he wanted. He asked me to exchange it for "Meet the Robinsons", which unfortunately didn't come out until this past Tuesday. His birthday was in August, so I had to hang onto the DVD for quite some time to exchange it.

I went last night directly after work to Best Buy, where I purchased the DVD to exchange it. Best Buy is one of my favorite stores. I love to just wonder around the store gawking at all of the "toys" (i.e. TVs, Computers, Stereos, Cameras, etc...) and "games" (DVDs, Software, Cd's, accessories, etc...). Coworkers and I have taken lunch hours just to go to the store and check out the large, wide screen, HD TVs.

As I entered the store I was thinking what a great Uncle I am taking care of this without anyone reminding me, because usually I forget or postpone these kind of things and I have to be reminded a bunch of times, which is a normal guy thing I think (I am pointing out my guy-ness because it was called into question lately).

I walk up to the return counter, and I am as expected immediately waited on and asked how by the man in the blue shirt can he could help me. I said, I wanted to exchange this unopened DVD for another one. He said "Sure, no problem. Can I have your receipt, please." I paused, and said I didn't have a receipt, but that I only wanted to exchange this unopened DVD, and I didn't want any money back. He told me that they could not return or exchange the DVD without the receipt, something about how their computer system wouldn't allow it. He said because he didn't know how much I paid, he couldn't give me a credit. I suggested he give me a credit for the lowest price of the DVD, and he said, "Sorry, but without a receipt I can not process your return."

I stormed out towards the front door, only to be stopped by their "doorman" and told that he was sorry I wasn't happy, but that was store policy. I told him the policy was stupid and continued my rampage out the door.

Right now Best Buy is not my favorite store.

On a lighter note, I got to take my brother's middle son to his soccer game/practice on Saturday. He is only 4, and hasn't gotten the gist of the game yet, but he seemed to enjoy running after the ball and try to kick it in the correct direction. When we arrived at the practice field there were about 2 dozen or so teams of kids playing. It was the first time I had taken my nephew to soccer practice, and I hadn't met his coach or any of the other parents before. So I figured I would just find other kids with the same color shirt. So I looked out onto the field, and they ALL had on the same color shirt, with the same symbol on the front... no help!

We walked around the area about 10 minutes until eventually my nephew started walking onto the field. I was surprised, because he seemed hesitant to walk onto the field everywhere else we had been. I asked him if this was his team, and he nodded his head. I looked up to the coach, and asked "Do you know this little guy?" and he responded "Yeah, that's your brother's middle son." (OK, he didn't actually say "your brother's middle son", instead he said his name, but this blog is public, and I haven't asked permission to give out his name, so I took a little literary license)

They practiced a little and then had a three on three game with another team. My nephew didn't score any goals, but he had a great time, and so did I. I should have gotten my kids more involved with sports when they were young... too late now.

Later Lou

Sick...

I am sick and tired... or tired and sick... but mostly sick of the run around. When people don't want to give you good news they give you the run around, or they make you wait by postponing the conversation as long as possible...

What makes me even sicker, is that I do the exact same thing!

I mentioned in a previous post, the one where I write about what I did to my brand new lawn mower, that I had contacted http://www.webuyuglyhouses.com/ in an attempt to get rid of the marital home. Well after 3 weeks, and multiple phone calls I got a final answer from them about whether or not they would buy my ugly house or not. They made me an offer... however, the offer wasn't realistic. They offered around $13,000 less than I currently owe on the mortgages of the house. So if I accepted their offer I would have to come up with $13,000 in addition to the money they would give me for the house in order to close the deal.... If I had $13,000 I would fix up the place, and rent it, or live in it, and I wouldn't need them at all!

The point I am trying to make, even though I am extremely discouraged that they didn't give me a reasonable offer, is that it took them 3 weeks to come straight with me and tell me that they couldn't really help me.

I have noticed recently that this happens a lot when I am dealing with this house. I tried to get the property refinanced through my local bank, and a process that normally takes 2 weeks, took over 5 weeks. After all that time, they said "Sorry, we can't help you, but here's the name of a private investor." I called the private investor, and the last I heard from him after 3 weeks of working with him, was that my credit score wasn't really strong, and he would have to do a little more research on how he could help... He hasn't called back since.

So, I am stuck with the house. I can't get a loan to help me fix it up, and it's not in any condition to live in... but I still have to make the monthly mortgage payments and the yearly tax and insurance payments... In otherwords I am flushing a lot of money down the toilet every month, and I am not even getting the relief of a good, clean lower intestine!

Speaking of sick, "Four" was sick at school on Thursday. The school nurse could not get a hold of her mother (who was at her home sleeping), so she called me. I had to drive 30 minutes from work to the school to pick her up and drop her off at her mother's house (which is about 5 minutes from the school), and then drive back to work. It was a wonderful extended lunch hour. "Four" is fine, and she went to school the next day. I am glad I was able to get her, but I am thinking I need to send her mother a bill for my time and the gas for my car... I think that's fair isn't it? I mean, she asks me to pay her monthly to take care of the kids at her place, why can't I ask her to pay me when I incur expenses for activities she should have done?

Nah, that would probably only increase her feelings of being "sick and tired" of me! :-)

Later Lou

New Car - Part 2

"Two" is a little upset that I posted about his new car before he did. He sent me a few IM's yesterday and a comment on my last post expressing that he had the "real" story!

The rest of the story is that his car isn't yet road worthy, although it soon will be. We had to get it insured of course, which was an interesting event. The same night after we wrote the check for the car (Sunday I believe), we went home and logged onto my insurance company's website: http://www.geico.com/. I put in a few quotes: 1) Adding a car, and 2) Adding a driver. A representative from Geico wrote me an Email shortly after my request for a quote telling me that my premium had been raised to almost $1,700 for 6 months worth of coverage!

I had a small anxiety attack, not only because of the very large dollar figure, but because I didn't really ask them to change my policy yet, only give me a quote. So I immediately responded with my displeasure of changes being made without my consent.

A second representative wrote back and told me that they had to "by law" add the second driver if he was licensed, and a learner's permit was considered licensed, and if he was living in my household. I really started to sweat wondering how I was going to come up with that sum of money, or how I could tell "Two" that almost half his monthly income would be going to pay for car insurance.

Before I got too worked up I got another message from Geico in response to my quote for adding the car. I expected the number to go up even more, and was not only relieved, but elated that the number actually went down over $600! I am not sure how the insurance premium calculations work, but as long as "Two" had his own car the rate dropped considerably.

The monthly cost of insurance is now manageable, however, it doesn't manage my concerns about him being out on the roads without supervison. Hopefully within the upcoming weeks he helps me to be assured by becoming a stronger and more confident driver.

BTW: Here's second picture of "Two's" car, since he posted the same picture on his blog, that I posted previously.

New Car

I bought a new car... It's in my name.... I paid for the taxes and title transfer fees.

Ok, I confess, the car isn't really mine. "Two" bought the car... He paid for it with his own money, and he will be paying me back for the taxes and title when he gets paid on Monday. The car is, however, in my name since he is underage, and doesn't have a license yet. He's still working on both of those issues... I am pretty sure at least one of them will be resolved within 7 months.

He spent the last couple of weeks scouring the newspaper classified ads, and the local "auto trader" magazines. He called numerous people, asked questions, talked with friends, until he found what sounded like a pretty good deal.

We went to meet the owner, and see the car, and I was pleasantly surprised that the car looked in decent shape. The owner told us two bad things about the car: No key to lock or unlock the doors, and the battery needed to be replaced. Both issues can be resolved easily without much knowledge in car repair, which of course is a bonus for both him and I, since we are absolute non-experts in fixing up cars.

The owner asked if we wanted to drive it, and I was glad to hear that he was very forthcoming, and seemingly honest (yeah, I had, and may still have a little cynicism). We drove the car, and "Two" was extremely happy. The only thing that was not 100% with it was that the car had a little muffler noise which seems to be coming from a loose strap on the exhaust pipe. There were no drips coming from the engine, so no oil leaks, no radiator leaks, and nothing glaring wrong with the engine.

The car is a little old, being that it's a 1994 Chevy Cavalier, but it only has 94,000 miles on the car, which I thought was pretty good for the age of the car.

Today, "Two" and I went and signed the papers and got the new license plate. So it is now officially his property, and as soon as we can get a extra driver to go with us (or him) to pick it up, he will have it moved to our place so he can clean it up, put in the new battery, and attach the new plate.

He was very excited to place the ignition key on his keyring today.

I am very proud of him, and at the same time very nervous. My son will very soon be driving around by himself, and I will be worrying for quite some time each time he is out that he may be broke down or in an accident... Yeah, I know the car is pretty solid, and his a pretty good driver, but I believe I am allowed a little excess worry as a father... Right?

Later Lou

Early Knocking

There was loud knocking on my door this morning at 7:30AM... It was a sound that woke me a little earlier than I planned to get up on this Saturday morning. "Two" had to be at work at 9AM, so I had planned to get up a little after 8AM. The owner of the air conditioner shop was ready to start installing the new A/C units on the roof this morning, and he wanted to get an early start to avoid the expected rain. When I opened the door I saw that the rain had already started, but he was still insistent, and wanted to do the install. So by noon he had the old units removed, the new ones installed and working and was sitting in my living room wanting a check. I don't think things are perfect yet. I think there may need to be a little adjustments made because the units don't seem to get the house below 75 degrees, and seem to be running all the time.... BUT... The building is no longer an oven!!!

This was my weekend to have my kids, and my daughter, "Three" decided last night that she didn't want to be here... I am not sure why she didn't want to be here... maybe the heat, maybe I smelled bad or maybe it was because it was "boring" here... She has not been wanting to be here, and it has really been bothering me. I miss her being around, I miss her wanting to be around, and I miss having a family all together instead of split between two homes. Not that I want to be back with "Ex" by any stretch of the imagination, just that I wish my kids didn't bounce back and forth. I am trying to be understanding, but my own emotions keep me from just allowing her to do what she wants without too much control (or oversight) from me. As I mentioned, she wanted to go home last night, but I didn't let her go home until today because I thought if I could get her to just spend a

little time here she might decide it wasn't that bad and want to stay a little longer... However, my plan failed. (sigh)... She is still struggling in school, and last year she skipped a lot and her grades really suffered because of it. This school year is only 2 weeks old and she has already skipped a day. I know as kids get older they start doing their own things, but how can you explain to a teenager that the things they are doing may have long term consequences? The good news is so far this year, her grades are good... She is a smart girl, and always has been, but she inherited my emotional "instability". Hopefully she grows out of it at a younger age than I did. The rest of the day was pretty quiet. "Sweetie" (my girlfriend), usually has her son, "Other Two" the same weekend I have my kids, and we mostly do our own separate things on that weekend. Occasionally we do a group outing, but not all the time. This weekend "Other Two" is staying with his Dad and he will be with her next weekend. His Dad traded to accommodate going to the Steelers game. "Sweetie" has been enjoying a kid free, bachelorette style weekend. To make a few extra bucks each month, I take software support calls in the evenings and weekends every other week, and my scheduled support time happens to coincide with the same weekend I have my kids. Regardless, I still find time to hang out and do things with my kids. So far this weekend the number of support calls has been pretty low, and it has been pretty quiet. Last night I took the kids to see the movie "Balls of Fury". I usually miss most of the movies because I have to take a call, but last night, I didn't get any calls, and I was able to sit through the whole thing... But what surprised me even more was that I actually enjoyed the movie. I expected the movie to be one of those really dumb comedy movies, and while it wasn't a movie from Mensa, it stayed above the idiot level and was a pretty good movie, and of course, very funny! I would recommend it! So quit reading this and go watch the movie! Later Lou

Bring you up to speed.

It's been awhile since I have posted. I don't have any big reason or excuse as to why I didn't post. I just didn't, and I am not going to spend time trying to analyze why, I am just going to move forward and start posting again. I presume most readers (if I had any) gave up checking for updates... So that means I have a new opportunity to start over again with a new audience. If you are reading this, then you are part of that new audience!

So let's get started with the updates:

The biggest update is I am still here, and I am still alive, and I am still healthy. Woo Who!!!

Let me take a moment to give a little background about myself, and a little review of recent history, and then we can move forward.

I am a single parent with four kids. My oldest (we will call her "One") has left the nest and is on her own. She is working full time and managing her own home in Ohioville, PA with her fiancè (we will call him "PlusOne"). "One" and "PlusOne" haven't set a date for their marriage yet, but are doing well. The other three kids are living between my house and the Ex's house. My second oldest (we will call him "Two") who is a senior in high school, is living primarily with me, and the two youngest girls ("Three" and "Four") are living primarily with Ex. "Three" is a junior in high school, and "Four" is in middle school.

I have been on my own since February 2000, and I have moved quite a few times, improving my living places as finances allowed. I have been living in my current home for over 3 years, and just recently (May 2007) I bought the building. The building is a duplex, and I have rented out the second apartment, which is helping to defer the cost of the mortgage.

I am a computer programmer working for an international company with HQ in Israel, and has a main office in Dallas, Texas. I live and work in Western Pennsylvania, near Pittsburgh.

I am dating a wonderful woman (we will call her "Sweetie") who is a nurse, and a mother of two. Her oldest (we will call her "Other One") has also left the nest, has graduated college, gotten married, and is now working full time. Her youngest (we will call him "Other Two") is in High School. We have been dating for quite a few years, and we currently aren't talking about marriage, but who knows what the future might hold... You will have to stay tuned to find out more on that topic.

So now that you know a little about me, let me tell you a little about what's been happening in my life.

The last 6 months have seen a lot of changes in my life. First, as I have already mentioned, I became a homeowner in May. It's the first time since 2000 that I have owned property. Even though it's been almost 6 months since I bought the place, I am still thinking like a renter rather than an owner. The building needed some serious roof work when I purchased it, and a few other minor repairs. I got all of that done, and rented out the second apartment, and any day now I will be receiving my 3rd rent payment. It's a unique experience having someone else pay you rent. I have good tenants that pay rent on time, which I understand is a rare thing... So I hope they stay for quite some time! :-)

Buying my home was planned, and took 4-5 months to complete, but I am very happy with my decision. However, the second house I have acquired was not planned. Yeah, you read correctly, I have two properties. In June, Ex decided she no longer wished to pay for our old marital home. In August of 2006 she purchased a new home, and had been trying to sell the old marital home since then, but couldn't find a buyer. Her finances grew tight with the mortgages from both the old home and her new home, and she felt she could no longer afford the old house, so she just stopped paying the mortgage (actually there are two for that house, but that's not really important). She attempted to arrange a "short sale" with the mortgage holder, but I stopped it. Why would I stop it? Well it's actually quite simple: The mortgages were still in my name as she did not refinance after the divorce, and I did not want my credit score to be screwed over by a "near foreclosure". So to prevent the almost foreclosure, I had to take over the property, and pay the mortgages myself.

The cost of taking over the property (2 months of back mortgages, and title transfer fees) was approximately $1,800.00. Since I just spent all available cash I had on the purchase of my home, I didn't have the cash. I asked Ex to pay half and I would pay the other half, and then she wouldn't have to worry about the property any longer. I thought she agreed with that, but apparently didn't so when I withheld a support payment, she took me to court. Two unexpected things happened at the court hearing: I did not have to pay her for the withheld payment, and they lowered the amount of money I pay her each month. The only negative was that they now withhold the support payment from my paycheck instead of me paying her directly.

The marital home is in extreme disrepair. The roof needs replaced, water damage, and other damage inside the house needs to be repaired before someone can move into the place. I haven't decided if I will sell the place, or if I will fix up the place and live in it, or rent it. I don't think I can sell it easily since Ex wasn't able to sell it, and there are many homes in the area for sale, as well as the current housing market problems. So that leaves fixing it up, and either living in it or renting it. I could probably rent it pretty easily as it is very near a college, however, if it is fixed up, it would be a nicer place than where I am living now, and I could just rent out the other half of the duplex I am living in now.

So that's big financial stories, now onto the more important family stories. "Two" and "Other Two" spent the summer as counselors at Boy Scout camp. "Two" is currently ranked second in his class, and is trying very hard to get to first by the end of the year. He is also trying to decide what he is going to do next year for college, and he is trying to get his driver's license. "Three" just turned 16 last month and is spending most of her time with Ex. She hasn't been coming over to my house recently, and I am not exactly sure why, although I have heard it's because she thinks I have a flea problem in my house and I don't believe her. I haven't found any fleas yet, and I have sprayed. "Four" is coming along, and is spending something like 70% of her time with Ex, and the rest with me. All of the younger kids are now in their second week of school, and are still getting acclimated to getting up in the morning, and completing homework in the evenings.

Today "Four" said she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to go to school. She didn't look sick, and didn't feel feverish, so I sent her to school and told her to see the nurse if she didn't feel well. I hope she is OK, and will make it through the day. It's hard to tell if she is sick because she has not always been honest in the past about her health.

Tonight I am going with "Sweetie", "Two" and "Other Two" to the marital home, and we are going to do some major yard work. The lawn has gotten a little out of control.

The next post I will put up some pictures, and I will do my best to update more often!

Later

Celebration!!!

My youngest daughter who will be 11 tomorrow, has wanted a "two wheel" bike for quite some time, but has been absolutely petrified to ride one. I had been offering to buy a bike and teach her for years, but she has absolutely refused to allow me... This past week, I took her up to my girlfriends house, where her son has a small bike that he no longer rides. I strapped on a few training wheels and got her on the bike. The bike and the training wheels are designed for much smaller children, but they gave her the sense of security she needed. However they didn't really prevent her from falling or getting frustrated when she couldn't turn or move the bike the way she wanted. Well it's been a week... I have been raising the training wheels further and further up, so they didn't touch the ground, until she was riding the bike without the training wheels touching at all... I had her stop, and I took of the training wheels... She immediately when into panic mode, and told me she couldn't ride without the wheels... I explained to her that she has been riding the bike with the wheels so far up they didn't touch, and she didn't need them.... I tried to explain to her it was like Dumbo and the Magic Feather... She could do it on her own, and she didn't need the feather any longer. I was surprised that neither her or my girlfriend's son got the reference... I thought these kids watched Disney movies! :-) Anyway, she was nervous, but did it... The look on her face when she realized she could do it without any help was priceless!!! She was proud of herself, and I was even more proud of her. She overcame a huge fear in her life, and succeeded! It was a great day! My girlfriend gave her a ice cream bar to celebrate, her son offered his old bike to her as a reward, and she went to bed later happy and content!

Critical Update

Well... I didn't make it. I didn't even last an hour! On Friday I said I would attempt to spend the day without criticizing, putting down, or otherwise showing 'negativity' towards other people... I would attempt the challenge I gave to one of my kids. This morning started like most others, hitting the snooze button a bazillion more times than I should, and finally crawling out of bed, much later than I should. The only good news is that the only one I could be critical of was myself, because there wasn't anyone else at home! So keeping the challenge during this time was pretty easy, and led me into a false sense of "this is going to be a piece of cake." The drive to work was also mostly uneventful, nobody to road rage against (BTW: You have to read Limpy's story), and no traffic tie ups. The only issue was the stupid idiot on the radio! Not the talk show host, he is his own special brand of idiot, the caller. So, less than 60 minutes into my 24 hour challenge I am screaming at the radio... After venting, I realized no one could really hear my criticism so does it count if no one hears it? I decided to not count that episode. I went to work and "hid" in my cube, trying hard to not talk to anyone. I immediately got into my work, and within minutes I am cursing myself, and the person before me that worked on this project... Of course it was under my breath, so that didn't count either... Right? I ate lunch alone. Lunch is usually the big "gripe" session of the day, as a bunch of us go out and whine about the boss, the company, fellow co-workers, or other work politics. So I had "officially" made it up to lunch time without actually criticizing anyone that could hear me. I made it until about 15 minutes before the end of day. My cubicle neighbor came over for a visit to grouse about his ex-wife, and that stirred the pot. Within minutes I am sharing stories, and telling him that his "ex" has got problems... Oops... I slipped... I criticized openly... Of course he wasn't aware of my challenge, so did it really count? The discussion continued until after the end of the work day, and the conversation lead to other situations besides my cube neighbor's ex... And each topic was quickly enhanced with my critical comments... I justified the whole colorful conversation because he didn't know about the challenge.... I went home, picked up my kids, and as soon as my son got in the car he asked... "How was your day?"... I could have lied and said "Great", but instead I changed the subject, so I avoided that one. Then my youngest came out with a stain above her upper lip... I told her that her face was dirty and that she needed to wash her face... Is it a criticism when you are being a parent and making sure your kids are clean? Justification? I took my youngest to the library for a Dr. Seuss Celebration, and started chatting with the librarian. She was mostly positive, but started complaining about the funding for the library, and her short staff... I agreed... Is agreeing with someone else's criticism, criticizing? Who am I kidding... I can't do it! I couldn't even make it 60 minutes, let alone 24 hours!

Critical

Are you a critical person? Are you a person that finds fault in a lot of things, or can't resist pointing out something that could be done better? I am, and I wonder if I am passing it along to my offspring. I was talking with one of my kids the other day about how they seem to "complain" a lot. I asked if they complain as much with other people, or just me. To their credit they said they do it the same with everyone. Of course, being critical myself, I probably noticed the complaining more than other people, but that's a side track. I read in some article in a magazine, or newspaper a long time ago, before the Internet that President Abraham Lincoln had a philosophy of not speaking or expressing criticism with those that worked for him, or with him. He would remain silent if he could not say something uplifting or positive. Of course, I am not sure if this is a truthful story, as I can't cite a source, but non-the-less it gave me an idea. I suggested to the younger Laughlin that they spend a 24 hour period of no criticism, negative comments or expressions. No rolling of the eyes, no put downs, no correcting another person, and no complaining. They accepted the challenge starting at 8AM the next day and going for 24 hours. Of course, I didn't take the challenge myself, because I am a parent, and as parents say "Do as I say, not as I do." :-) This of course is a way of justifying our hypocrisy! After the challenge period had been completed I decided to do a little followup and see how well they did. They said it was very, very hard, especially at school, but they thought they did a pretty good job. I asked if it made them smile more or if they enjoyed the day. The response was they spent most of the day quieter than normal, and attempted to be expressionless. Which of course was not what I wanted... I was hoping to remove the negative, and allow the positive to shine through... Instead I got no negative and no positive... So now it's my turn to take the challenge... Today is Friday the 3rd of March. To be fair, I am going to do it on a regular day of work, rather than a fun filled weekend. So starting this coming Monday the 6th for 24 hours starting at 8AM, I will not be critical, or at least not express it. Think I can do it? Think you can?

Keys

Here's a story.... But before I start, you must understand a few things.... I really enjoyed the Disney movie about that smart guy that couldn't remember anything..... I have tried really hard to be just like him throughout my life. This past weekend I planned to go over to to my girlfriends house to help her remodel her small bathroom. She had to work in the morning, and I was supposed to go to her house while she was working, and get things started. I started Saturday by sleeping in, and I got to her house in the early afternoon, instead of the early morning. After getting to her place I realized that in order to take the sink and fixtures out of the room, I would some tools that she didn't have at her place. Fortunately, she lives only a short distance from my place, so I drove back home to get what I needed. I went in the back door, turned on the lights in the garage, where I keep the tools. I set down the stuff in my hands (read keys) and started to dig out the appropriate tools . After rooting around a few minutes I decided just to take the entire tool box, and figure it out there. I also grabbed set of special "locking pliers" that I got for a present a few years back. So with my hands full of tools I exited the garage, and closed the door behind me. I have a bad habit (or good depending on your point of view, from my point of view at this point it's bad), of locking doors as I walk through them. So, when I entered the garage, I locked the door, but kept it open slightly so I could get back out. When I left the garage, I pulled the door shut with my foot, as my hands were full. Soooo... When I get to the car to put the tools in the back I fumble around looking for the car keys that should be in my pocket to unlock the trunk of the car. Now the truly bad habit I have is that I don't always put the keys into my pocket when I am not using them, and yet I still expect them to be there when I need them. In this particular case they were definitely not in my pocket. They were lying on the shelf near where the tool box just recently sat, behind a locked door I just pulled shut with my foot. I tried the "credit card" trick on both doors to my apartment. The front door was has a dead-bolt lock, which I had locked earlier, and the backdoor shuts very tight, and there is no room to get the card between the door and the frame. Needless to say, my place is pretty safe against the average criminal with plastic card. Since I am not a professional criminal, I resorted to the next best thing... No, I didn't break a window, but that would have been less humiliating... I called my oldest daughter and beg her to come open the door to her Dad's apartment because he is getting too old to remember to take the keys with him when he leaves the building. She groans, and reluctantly agrees to help. While I am waiting for her to arrive, I find that the car isn't locked. I can sit in the car, and get out of the cold weather and listen to the radio while she takes her time to get to my place. Boredom sets in very, very quickly, and looking around the car I see the keys to my girlfriends place that she loaned me to get into her place while she is gone. Unfortunately, none of those keys open my apartment, but they give me something to focus on for a few minutes. I start wondering what all of these keys are for. A few look like door keys, one looks like a car key, and a few others I couldn't really identify. While I am looking at the keys an unusual thought crosses my mind... I wonder if any of these keys would fit in my ignition and start my car... Yep, you are right, that idea is as dumb as it sounds, but it didn't stop me from trying. You see where as I have mastered the absent-mindedness of that Disney movie I mentioned earlier, I have not mastered the smart "professor" part. So anyways, back to the story... I found a key that actually slid into the ignition, but of course didn't turn. I was surprised, because the key doesn't look anything like my car key and I was amazed at how it went in to the ignition like it was the right type of key. So I decided to see if any other keys went into the ignition like that. Well, the only other one that would go in was the actual key to my girlfriend's place, which was marked with a "pink" ring around the key. That key however only went halfway into the ignition, and.... It wouldn't come back out! No matter want I did: twist, turn, wiggle, jiggle, push, pull, scream, or cry, the key refused to exit the steering column of the car. My daughter was going to arrive any minute which meant I could get my keys, but what good would it do? I would not be able to use the keys to drive back to my girlfriends house to work on the bathroom! More fidgeting, fiddling, or fumbling did not extricate the key. I thought I was humiliated by asking my daughter to help me get into my apartment there was no way I could bear to tell her what I did or anyone else for that matter. So when she got to the house and let me in I found the phone book and called a locksmith that has emergency services. A little over an hour later and $75.00 less the locksmith had removed the key, and the ignition and key suffered no damage. Since the locksmith never asked how the key got stuck, I never told him. I am hoping he doesn't think it was me! :-) So I learned that even though that professor on that Disney movie both forgetful and smart, in the real life being forgetful is a sign of costly stupidity.

Weekend

This past weekend was full of interesting happenings. Saturday my oldest and I took a visit to the a local PA DMV office. She was attempting to become a licensed driver. I was impressed that the PA DMV had improved things so we didn't have to stand in a long line and wait for hours. All we had to do was go online and schedule a time and show up at that time and take the test. They were prompt and on time, so we had practically no wait. She has had a learner's permit for quite some time, but has been very nervous about taking the test. Her mother helped her to get a new car (2005 Chevy Cavalier) and this put a little pressure on her to finally get her license. She was still hesitant because she was worried over parallel parking. I picked her up from work a few times before her test, and showed her how to park, and get close enough to the curb. When I took my driver's test, many, many years ago, I had to take it twice, and we didn't have to do parallel parking. However, she became a licensed driver on her very first attempt. I am extremely proud of her. My son went to Penn State College for FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) leadership training conference. He came back tired yet a little more wise. He is quickly becoming a man, and has already laid out a plan over the next year for getting his driver's license as soon as he can after he turns 16. I also took my two youngest to get costumes for Halloween at the Spirit Halloween store in the mall. So after an hour in the store, a few tears because the perfect costume was too small, or too expensive, or the wrong color, a run back to the car to get a wallet, and an empting of that wallet, costumes were bagged and taken home. They will be a fairy princess and a wench tricking and treating around town this year. Well the weekend is over, and it's time to relax... at work.

Winter Storm

Today here in Western, Pennsylvania, near Pittsburgh. We are expecting a "Winter Blast" with snow accumulation upto 8 inches. It's supposed to be the worst accumulation we have had all winter... Let me tell you we have already had quite a bit, so for this to be the worst it must be going to be pretty bad. According to the National Weather Service, it does appear like a big storm is approaching, and at the time of this writing we are just seeing the beginnings of the storm. I have been hearing about this storm since last night. It's making the headlines and all of the local talk shows this morning are gabbing about it. My nine year old daughter went out with a friend to see the movie "Because of Winn-Dixie." Her friend's parents told her that there would be a big storm coming and possibly a school delay this morning. Everyone knows about this storm.... Well, I get into work this morning, turn on my computer, and I find the following picture on my computer:

Now that's a great picture... Nice flowers, and nice to think that soon here in the Pittsburgh area, we will be seeing green leaves, grass, and maybe some flowers... This picture is our "weekly company picture". Our company is headquartered in Israel, and the main office here in the US is in Dallas, so they probably don't realize that Punxsutawney Phil said there would be 6 MORE WEEKS OF WINTER!

Last week here at work, we had a gentleman from our HR department come in to our office, and reviewed the results of "employee survey" the company did in 2004. It basically showed that we are "happier" than we were two years ago, but we are still unhappy. They haven't yet figured out that if you give a pay increase, even a small one, not just a one time "bonus" that it can go a long way to improving "morale".

So I guess what I am saying is the results of the survey and the weekly company picture did not improve my morale this week... Instead it made me feel even more like the company is out of touch with me. They keep saying they understand and that they are going to improve things, but I don't think they really are... Why should they? The survey said we are happier than we were two years ago!

I am going to go back and look at the pretty picture again... Maybe if I look at it again, it will lift my spirits...

Later Lou