A new era (continued...)

Yesterday I mentioned that 2009 is a new era. I talked about the new leadership we have in the government, and to be honest, what I heard on the news this morning makes me want to write about it, but I will refrain - for now.

I thought today I would share a little bit of the new era in my life personally. The last post I made about my life was on September 10th, of last year. Interestingly on "Sweetie's" last birthday. Just a reminder, Sweetie, isn't my sweetie any longer... but I will admit my heart still yearns for her.

Sweetie decided last May that she didn't want to be a couple with me any longer. I moped around a little, and then tried to convince her to come back. Needless to say, I wasn't successful. Being a middle aged (when did that happen?) man, and being, as my kids say, "a geek", I don't really hang out in places where I am likely to meet someone new. So, I have signed up to places like Match.com and eHarmony.com.

I met some very wonderful women, and had some dates, many only first dates. Maybe my standards were too high, but I had hoped that I would find someone that would get me so excited about her that I would forget about Sweetie. Here it is the end of January, 8 months later, and I am still thinking about her every day. That part of me hasn't let go yet.

I have digressed completely from my topic... I want to talk about the NEW things, not dwell on the past, but I guess you have to talk a little about the past to understand the future right?

In my last post in September, I mentioned I didn't want to talk about work because I was afraid I would get fired. Those words must have been prophetic, because 8 days after I posted it, I got fired. Yeah, fired... not laid off, not downsized, not cutback... outright FIRED! Why? Well, as with all stories there are two sides. But i will only regale you with my side.

The morning of the 18th of September, I got called into my boss's office and asked to shut the door. When I sat down in the chair opposite his desk, his first words were: "What's your problem?" Not being prompted ahead of time, nor with more information than that, I had no idea what he was talking about, and stated that a few times. After he realized that I truly didn't know what he was talking about he, told me what HIS PROBLEM was. He wanted to know why I hadn't turned in my time sheet for over 4 weeks.

The truth was that I didn't think the time sheets were really important. He didn't make them important either, because he didn't say anything to me for over four weeks. I guess, I thought if he truly needed them, he would have asked for them, or at least sent out a reminder.

Anyways, I didn't think I should say that, so instead I said, "I don't have a good reason, I just didn't do them, I am sorry, I will do them now." That answer was apparently not good enough, he said he needed a reason. I explained that I didn't have any really good excuse other than I made a mistake and I will correct it. He got red faced, and started yelling at me about what a terrible employee I was and how that I must be intentionally not doing these important time sheets, and since I was doing it intentionally, that I am being disrespectful and insubordinate, etc...

I reminded him that I was all current on all my projects and he knew that without the time sheets, and that there were other employees who are turning in their time sheets but were behind on their work. I tried to return the focus to what should have been most important: the project. I was wrong, apparently the time sheets were what was the most important.

The scene got worse with him yelling at me, and putting me down, and I wanted to leave the room, but he wouldn't let me. He continued to yell, and I tried to defend myself, but to be honest, I didn't have a good defense, since I was wrong and I should have done the time sheets. Even though my work was still being done, was all current, the quality of my work was still high, and my last review in February was a 4.5 out of 5, were all irrelevant facts. I finally couldn't take the yelling any more, so I left the room, and he chased me down the hall into the main lobby and continued yelling. Told me if I didn't stop he would fire me right then and there.

I stopped, and I let loose. I started yelling back. I told him that I thought he was a terrible boss, and was out of touch of his employees. I told him that he spends too much time worrying about the small unimportant paperwork and red tape and not enough about the people working for him. (I even used the movie reference of the "TPR reports" from "Office Space", which I knew he liked.) I told him that he has held our product back and was personally responsible for the downward trend of sales because he failed to allow the product to be improved because he felt it was "too risky". All of that went in one ear and out the other. The point that finally got and got a reaction was the line when I told him that he spent too much time with one particular girl in the testing department, and that because he was too focused on her "butt" that he was out of touch with the product and his employees. BTW: Everyone in the office knows he's having an affair with her, but no one will speak about it. At that point, he pointed to the door, and told me to "Get out."

Well I was upset, so I did "get out", and I went to my cube, grabbed my jacket and I left. As I drove home, and cooling off, I started to think that I didn't really know what "Get out" meant. Was it a get out now because we are both too angry to talk, or was it get out and don't come back. So, when I got home, I called the HR department and asked them to tell me what I should do. They didn't call me back until the next day, and they proceeded to tell me that "your employment with the company has been severed." I was absolutely flabbergasted. I couldn't believe that my boss could pick a fight with me over these stupid time sheets, and I could be fired, when he's the one having a office relationship with an subordinate. When I asked why, I was told because I yelled and cursed at my boss, which is unacceptable behavior. Of course, the boss can yell and curse at me, but I can't do it back.

All of my friends in the company that heard the yelling match between us told me that I was right in everything I said, and that I didn't deserve to be fired. But, that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

They told me that I couldn't go back to the same office, and there were no openings for me in other offices, so they were dismissing me. To their credit, they paid me me for my unused vacation time, and the last bonus check they had apparently been holding on to. That gave me a month's worth of income to tide me over until I found a new job.

I am now working as a software contractor (temp job) for a different company in the same area where I was working for before. I have been doing everything I can to get hired on as a permanent employee here. My manager has told me a few times he likes me, and the work I do, and he is doing everything he can to keep me.

I really like the company I am working for now. The environment is positive, the people seem to like their job, and the manager is great. Looking back, I am glad I am no longer working at the old company, and I am much happier now, even though I am making less money. Hopefully the less money thing is a temporary thing!

I described this as a new era, and the new job, and the loss of my sweetie isn't the only significant parts of the change. There is more, but that's for another time, so stay tuned!

Later Lou

Been awhile...

Well, it's been a long while since I have "rambled" here.

I have to start by apologizing to the readers and friends I had before I abruptly stopped writing. I am really sorry for just stopping cold turkey and not saying good-bye, or telling anyone that I was going to take a break or anything... I kinda just "fell" off the edge of the world.

I didn't plan on stopping, it just sorta happened. The holidays have always been a rough time for me, and this year it hit me rather hard, with all of the things that were going on in my life. I ended up in a serious depression that lasted for quite a few months.

Since I wrote last my financial situation has become pretty serious. "Sweetie" has decided to move on without me. My son, Two, has moved away to college, and my two youngest daughters have stopped coming over as frequently. So I have been dealing with money issues, loss of the love of my life, and an empty nest.

I have started to recover emotionally through a little medication, therapy, support of my friends and family, and sheer of will to finally get myself moving again.

"Sweetie" said she needed "time" last spring, and I spent most of the spring and summer hoping that after awhile she might come back. I signed up to match.com and eharmony.com and met some new people, and had a few dates. Through those sites I have made some new friends, some of which have become really good friends.

I am still looking though for someone that might be interested in being more than a friend, but then again, I am not in a real hurry. Although I will admit I prefer to not be alone. I thought I was over "Sweetie" because of the length of time it's been, but recently I saw her car at a local restaurant. I hung around a few minutes to see who she was with, and when I did, I realized I still wasn't completely over her. She wasn't with anyone I knew, but I saw she was happy and having a good time, and it filled me with mixed feelings. I was happy that she was smiling and having a good time, but at the same time sad that it wasn't with me.

We have talked since then and she has told me that she has moved beyond needing time to finally saying that she doesn't want to be with me any longer. At first, it hurt pretty bad, but very quickly that feeling was replaced with a feeling of closure, or weight being lifted off my heart. I was holding out hope that she would come back and it was weighing me down, and my heart was growing heavier day by day, without me realizing it. When she finally said to me that we weren't going to get back together, the weight lifted and I realized how much weight I had been carrying.

I still care for her, but now I feel able to really move on. One of the hard parts, besides saying good bye to her, was ending the relationship with her son. I have been a part of her family for almost 6 years, and I love him like he is one of my own kids. I wanted to continue the relationship with him, but I can't because she doesn't want to be a part of my life, and if her son is still in my life, then she has to be. I know I hurt him by telling him I couldn't hang or talk with him any longer, but I also know it's for the best. I wish him the best, and I hope and pray he becomes a great guy and someone that I can be proud of.

I am now in the process of moving my duplex to the marital home. It needs a lot of work, and because of that I can't rent it out. I can however, rent out the duplex I am living in. So I am going to move out of the duplex and rent it, so I can hopefully relieve some of the financial stress.

Thanks for taking the time to read, and I will try to write more frequently, and if I decide to stop again, I promise I will not do it as abruptly. I also want to once again apologize for anyone that used to read, comment and talk with me for my bad blogging behavior. I hope you forgive me.

Later Lou

December Updates

A lot of stuff has been happening, as it usually does as the year is preparing to close. Here's a brief rundown:

1. Saturday we cleaned out the Ex's old house, what I call the Marital Home. The same house I am trying to sell because she abandoned it, and it fell on my shoulders. It seems I am perpetually cleaning up after her.
2. The 13 yard dumpster was filled to the top with stuff that she left in the place.
3. The dumpster cost me $230.
4. My realtor called last week and said that she wanted to take inside pictures of the place so they publish a "virtual tour" online. This phone call prompted the cleaning up.
5. My realtor called again this past weekend and said the people that showed interest in buying and "gutting" the place, are no longer interested, and that no one else has showed interest yet. HOWEVER, the interest rates are down in the 5% range, so she is confident this will help boost sales...
6. My brother and Sweetie helped me to clean up the mess in the martial home, and I bought them lunch (actually Sweetie paid, but I paid her back).
7. The virtual tour isn't online yet.
8. I had a big fight, actually I lost my temper, with my middle daughter, "Three", Monday night.
9. She only visits me when she needs something and then leaves when she has gotten what she needs, without spending any time with me. I told her that I was tired of being used and that my "stuff" was no longer open for use, but she was welcome to come visit.
10. Three left a voice mail on my phone last night cursing (using multiple swear words - all of the good ones) at me about fixing a computer for her boyfriend.
11. Three is only 16.
12. Went Christmas gift shopping last night with Sweetie to prepare for our annual family get together scheduled this Saturday.
13. I spent money I don't have.
14. I don't have money, because my tenant still hasn't paid December's rent (which isn't surprising given her past performance the last few months).
15. I over-drafted my bank account by $21 dollars and had to borrow money from my 17 year old son, "Two" to cover me until this Friday when I get paid (sigh).
16. One of my projects at work is causing major problems at some customer's stores, and I have to rework the project in an emergency attempt to fix the problem. Only no one, including me, knows if my "reworked" design will fix the problem.
17. I just got disposable contact lenses that can be worn for up to a month. I am wearing a "test" pair this week and if the work out I can get some more for next year. Bye bye eyeglasses!
18. Sweetie bought me a new watch for Christmas. She told me to wear it to work today, so I am. It's a gold and silver Fossil watch with four diamonds in the gold face, at the 12, 3, 6, and 9 positions. It's really nice...
19. The watch band needs adjusted slightly as it is a little loose on the wrist. Either that or she needs to keep feeding me so I can grow into it.

OK that's all I can think of at the moment...

Later Lou

Vacation Day...

Another Scout leader training session was completed on Sunday, and we trained 8 more people. This brings the total to 26 newly trained cub scout leaders. The final two sessions are planned this week on Tuesday and Wednesday evening.

Sweetie and I took a "vacation" day on Friday. Actually I took a vacation day, and she called off. The fact that I wasn't at work probably explains why I didn't create a new 'rambling along' post. It seems as if the only times I can find an opportunity to create a post is when I am at work. I wonder if that means; I am not doing enough work? or I don't care as much about work to actually do it? or If there just isn't any work to do? Hmmmm... that's a good set of questions.

We took the day off with a plan in mind: To clean the second apartment in my duplex. It was expected that the tenant was going to be moved out on Thursday. I say "was expected" because Thursday night they had not yet moved out. I came home Thursday night after our team got creamed in bowling, to find a note on my door that said:

Lou, I won't be out till next wend. "My son" gets a big check from work next week you'll get a lot of it. "Your Tenant" The names were changed to protect the innocent. (me)

The note means I have to wait another week to get into the apartment and clean it, and get it listed to re-rent. Hopefully, it also means that I could see some money this week, and that would be a nice change of pace.

You know I just realized that my tenant could be reading this blog... It's not like I am hiding myself very well. I mean, my profile does list my real name and the real town I live in (or at least it appears that way right?)... Oh well...

Anyway, Sweetie and I ended up cleaning MY apartment instead, and after two hours she stated we "still weren't done..." (sigh)... Apparently I am not a very clean bachelor. I guess I could use a good life partner, a good child or two, or a good maid to help me keep it clean.

This past Saturday afternoon, we also went and visited the old marital home, and checked on the roof construction happening there. I don't recall if I mentioned it or not, but I did manage to scrounge up enough money credit to replace leaky roof, and I hired a Realtor recommended contractor to do the work. The contractor told me the work would be done in one week, and that he would start on Saturday (11/3/2007). When we stopped in this Saturday exactly one week after construction was started, it didn't appear like the job was done. As a matter of fact it didn't look like it would be done by Sunday. True to our expectations, when we drove by late last night (Sunday) and it still appeared as if there was work to do, and there was a lot of clean up yet to do. So it's taken so far, 1 week and 2 days. I wonder if I will get a credit since the job wasn't completed within the contracted time? Or do you think I will get charged more because the job took longer than expected? In either case, I am sure the project time will be blamed on the weather - It did rain, and there were a few snow flakes this past week.

The weekend was otherwise a great one, because I got to spend it with Sweetie, even though we ended up doing a lot of chores together all weekend.

Later Lou

Back to work...

The weekend is over. My nephew came over Friday night, and stayed until late Saturday night. I took him to his Flag Football game, and his Indoor Soccer game. He had a great time at both, but unfortunately neither of his teams got a win. He had the most fun with his new PlayStation 2 game: "LEGO: Star Wars" that his Dad picked up for him earlier in the day before he came to my place. It is a two player game, and he convinced me, and "Two" to play the game with him most of weekend, that is when he wasn't doing Football or Soccer.

Saturday was full of driving. I got up early to take "Two" to work, then took my nephew to his games, with a stop back at home in between to change, and then picked up "Two" from work late afternoon. After "Two" got home, we had decided to go to see the 'Bee Movie'. After about two minutes of the movie, I wanted to put in ear plugs. Jerry Seinfield's whiny voice was in every scene. I liked the TV show "Seinfeld", but this movie wasn't "Seinfeld." To be honest, the movie is very cute, but it's very, very, very much designed to appeal to a very, very young audience. I had a hard time tolerating the movie. The youngest two of the group, "Four" and my nephew loved it. Everyone else thought it was lame, and stupid. This was definitely not a movie I will be adding to the DVD library. Sunday was not as full, it was kind of a "lazy day". I did have to get up and take "Two" to work early, and pick him up late afternoon, but other than that, the day was pretty quiet. "Three" and "Four" went back to "Ex's" place when I picked up "Two" from work. So most of the evening was just him and I. As I left to go pickup "Two" from work, and I was going to the car, my tennant was going into her apartment. I stopped her and said "Hi", and asked how she was doing. She said she was ok, but that she needed to talk with me. I hoped it was in regards to her paying her rent from October, and now November. I was right, but not in the way I had hoped. She told me that they were moving out, and they would be out by this Thursday. As a matter of fact, her daughter had already found another apartment and had left, and she would be gone already if she could be. She felt unsafe in the apartment because apparently someone left her door unlocked and someonelse came into the house and took some pills and some money, and they did it all within 5 minutes. Now, I have lived in my duplex for over 3½ years now, and I have never had a single problem. I am not dismissing her, or suggesting that she didn't lose the money and pills... I am only wondering two things: 1) How did they know they could get into the house and out within 5 minutes, that there was money and pills, and exactly where they were (house wasn't trashed) 2) Why didn't the thief take anything else worth more money? I told her that I was sorry to hear about her problems, and I expressed my displeasure at not being informed, as I could have done something to help her be more secure by installing a security system or something. The real kicker to the whole conversation wasn't that she was moving out, as that will probably be a good thing... The kicker was that she said she will have to pay her back rent in "payments". My mortgages and utilities don't accept payments... oh wait... they already ARE payments! :-) I am betting that since she plans on being out by this Thursday, Nov 8th, that she will feel she doesn't owe November's rent... (sigh) I am really beginning to not like being a landlord. So to solve the immediate needs I have to advertise the apartment again, and as soon as she moves out completly, I need to clean it and get it rented out again! Hopefully it doesn't need any major repairs, because I haven't the foggiest idea where I would get the cash for that! Tonight I am going over to "Sweetie's" for dinner, and we are going to discuss a "plan of attack" for the duplex. She is already talking about skipping work on Friday and going to clean out the apartment. Got to love the practical side in her, but if I am skipping work with her, I would rather not be "working". Later Lou

Bowling update / Weekend plans

Retalix Strikers, my bowling team, didn't bowl so well this week, or last. "Sweetie" stopped in to the bowling alley tonight with her son, "Other Two" and watched our team lose two of our three games. Last week, we only won one of three games as well, so the team has moved from first place last week, to probably 4th or 5th after tonight. Our team captain is out for a few weeks with a sore elbow on his bowling arm, so we are a player short... However, that doesn't account for our recent losses, that is due to our less than stellar athletic performance. The good news is that it is still early in the season and if we can just bowl our average or better, we can easily regain our position in first place.

This weekend my brother's wife is going out of town, and because he has to work, and his oldest son wants to play in his football and soccer games on Saturday, they are staying at home. My brother will be working at Heinz Field during the Pitt and Steelers games on Saturday and Sunday, so I get to spend time with my nephew again.

My nephew is coming over Friday night after I get done with work and is going to spend the night with me, and my kids;"Two" and "Four." I think my daughter, "Three", will be coming down as well, so I will have a full house. We may go catch up on the current movie releases at the theater, rent a movie or two, or just sit in front of the wide screen TV and play video games on the PlayStation. Saturday we get to take him to his flag football and indoor soccer games. He really enjoys soccer, but football doesn't yet seem to get his enthusiasm going.

I am really looking forward to a non-work, fun filled weekend with the nephew and the kids.

Later Lou

Lost Patience... twice...

Well finally happened.... My patience got lost, and got lost good. Fortunately I found it, but then I lost it again. WARNING: If you like a quick read, you might want to skip today's post.

Yesterday was going to be a great day, because it was a vacation day, and only things I chose to do would be done, and done at my own pace. I took a vacation day because the marital home needed the heat turned on so the pipes wouldn't freeze this winter, and also so the house would be more appealing to the future owner. Running water, working electricity and heat are good selling points, I think. Columbia Gas scheduled an an appointment with me at their earliest, which was Wednesday morning. They said a technician could be there sometime between 8AM and 12PM, and since they had no weekend or evening appointments available, I accepted the appointment and submitted a vacation request.

Being that work is so important and I didn't think I should miss any of it at all (smirk), so I briefly considered taking only a ½ day off, and saving the rest for the holidays. But I reconsidered and submitted a vacation request for the entire day. Besides, it was Halloween and I wanted to enjoy the holiday, by cleaning up the marital home yard, getting the gas turned on, checking to make sure the furnace was working, and still have a little spare time to relax and get ready to take the kids out for "Trick or Treat."

Halloween morning started with me awaking in a panic. It was 8:15AM, and I was late for work. Slowly when the Halloween cobwebs cleared, the panic subsided as I remembered that it was a vacation day, and that I only needed to get up and get ready to go to the marital home to get the gas turned on, and to clean up the yard. Before I packed the car with the yard care equipment, I cut the grass at my Duplex, and picked up the street garbage from the sidewalk and the side of the building. I then packed and arrived at the marital home around 10AM.

Since the lawn mower is incapacitated, I had to use the weed-whacker... (remember I bent the blade back in September). It was slow going, and I hadn't gotten very far when the phone rang. While it was ringing, pleasant thoughts were going through my mind, about how smooth the day was going; I was not at work, grass was getting cut, the gas company is calling right on time to tell me they are on their way. Surprise! The call was from Sweetie, and my day was made perfect. It just couldn't get better.

At this point, it should be mentioned, (and it is pretty close to a scientific fact) that I have really bad luck.

Sweetie called not to be sweet, but because she was upset because her son "Other Two" was sitting in the principle's office at school, and she was stuck at work. I offered to go, but she said that her Ex (his Dad) was going, so I didn't need to, just that she was upset and worried because she didn't know what had happened. To help her calm down and get some answers, I suggested that since she couldn't be there, she should call and talk with the principle. She liked my idea and she called the school, and then quickly called me back and and gave me the scoop, with even more concern than before the call. She told me that he was being suspended, but didn't give me any details, because she didn't know all of the facts yet. He was OK, just sitting in the school's office waiting on his Dad to pick him up. She went back to work, and tried really hard to not worry too much about "Other Two", and I went back to work on the yard.

BTW: Patience was still there at this point, but with that bit of bad news, I felt my luck was starting to run out, which doesn't bode well for patience.

As it started to near lunch time, about 11:30AM, I called Columbia Gas and asked where the technician was, since he was supposed to be at the duplex in the morning, and morning was just about over. The gas company representative politely put me on hold, apparently did a little research and told me that the tech was in the area, and I would be his next stop, but it would be just a little after 12. After a brief complaint that my morning was wasted waiting, I asked if they would make it up to me by giving me a credit on the account. The response was "Sorry. I can't do that." The phone call was ended with a snide comment on my lips about how "convenient" it was for them to not be able to help or make me feel better... Patience almost got lost, but it held on.

An hour later, 12:30PM, still no technician. A second call to Columbia Gas and a different representative, that told me some interesting facts I hadn't heard before. The appointment was listed in their system as an "all day" appointment and that the tech would be there sometime before 4:30PM, instead of before 12PM. My explanation to the rep that I had a morning appointment, and that I had recently spoken to another representative that fell on seemingly deaf ears. The representative told me sorry, there wasn't anything they could do to help, I would just have to be patient, and the tech would be there sometime today.

That's when the patience got lost.

A tone started to develop in my voice, which was hard to contain, and I expressed that waiting was unacceptable as I had already waited a long time. I tried to calm down and ask the representative if they could find out how soon the tech might arrive. They said they had no way of knowing. My teeth started to grind together, and between the clenched jaws, I attempted to ask politely for the rep to check with the dispatch department, or a supervisor, or a manager. "Sorry, I can't do that" was the immediate response. At this point the jaw came unclenched, the lungs filled with air, and my voice got very noticeably louder, and reminded the rep that "I am the customer" and I demanded I be helped and helped now. "Sorry, there is nothing we can do for you". My voice rose a few more decibels and demands to talk with someone else, another representative, a supervisor, a manager, or any other living person working for their company. "Sorry sir, I can't transfer you, no one else will be able to help you". My face when deep red and the patience didn't just get lost, it fled! In my loudest, angriest, nastiest voice, which is usually keep reserved exclusively for "Ex", I said, "Give me a supervisor NOW!" And after repeating those words multiple times, I finally got transferred to a supervisor.

The supervisor came on the phone all polite and kind, and immediately called the dispatch department and found out that the tech was detained on an emergency call, and that they apologized for my inconvenience. With just a little consideration my face returned to normal colors, my noise level generated by my own voice lowered so I could hear the music on the radio, and patience returned. I quickly explained to the supervisor that I had scheduled a morning appointment but that it was put into their system as an "all day" appointment, and that I was pretty upset at the amount of time I have been waiting, and how upset the representative I was just speaking with had made me. To appease me even more, the supervisor gave me a $40 credit on the account, and almost all feelings of displeasure left me.

Hopefully that phone call was recorded or monitored for quality assurance, and the representative is told to find another job where their talents could be used... maybe they should work for Comcast.

Patience was recovered, and all was right with the world again.

After I got my $40 credit for the wasted morning, I went to lunch, and read the newspaper. The technician finally did arrive at 4PM, after a third call to Columbia Gas in which I was politely told that he was still on his emergency call, but would be there shortly. When the tech arrived, I found he was a very personable guy and we started talking about the day. He said his day a pretty bad one. He was at a house that had a pretty bad leak right outside and he was trying to fix it before there were any major problems, like explosions.

He took a few minutes and adjusted the gas meter, and quickly got the gas turned on, checked for leaks, and even went above and beyond and helped me insure that the furnace would light.

While we talked he told me that his son was looking for a cheap place in the area to fix up and move into, and I said I was selling this place, and maybe his son would be interested. He asked the price, and I told him and he said he thought his son would be very interested. I showed him around the place, and he was the first person I showed the house to that saw potential instead of problems. I gave him my business card. Now the question is, was he blowing gas up my tail pipe, or was he serious? If he was serious, I could finally get the Albatross off from around my neck, without the need to hire the Realtor, and all of the other repairs.

Later that night, I took the kids trick or treating and afterwards I went over to visit "Sweetie" and "Other Two," since "Other Two" was not allowed to trick or treat because of his school suspension. From talking with "Sweetie" earlier I knew she was short on dinner and that "Other Two" was still a little hungry, so I offered to pick up a hamburger on my way. I brought a couple of hamburgers, and some ice cream to smooth Sweetie's nerves. I also brought some for myself and "Other Two" since he didn't get to go trick or treating. We ate and watched a little TV and when it was time for "Other Two" to go to bed, things got a little out of control. I don't think it's fair to give the details, but needless to say, my patience got lost again. My face didn't get red, nor did the voice get loud, but I stormed out of Sweetie's house angry and upset.

I wrote her an angry Email that was quite a bit longer than this post... yeah, I tend to be a little verbose... Maybe I should change my Blog title to "Rambling Verbosely Along..." (Is that a word? "Verbosely"?) After I wrote the Email, I re-read, edited it, and re-read it, considered not sending it, and then promptly hit the send button.

I don't know if she read it or not, but she called me this morning, and we apologized to each other, and all is right with the world again. The only problem now is that I am back at work, and I didn't get to have any fun on my day off, except for a very short time during trick or treat.

I am bowling tonight, and for some reason when I try to hit ten 3lb wood sticks painted white, with my 16lb ball and get them to all fall down, my patience tries to escape again. Hopefully I can keep a hold of it tonight.

Later Lou

Press my luck...

I spent most of yesterday talking to everyone I knew well enough to ask, how to go about getting "Big Bucks and No Whammies." The results were not great, but they have a little potential:

• Find a loan company that will grant me a loan. A co-worker suggested a company that I called last night. I spent about 30 minutes on the phone giving them my entire life's financial history. The representative told me I would get a call this morning, and I have been waiting all morning for that call... It hasn't happened yet, which leads me to believe from past experience that no news is definitely not good news.
• Ask the head guy at our office, who has a little money, to give me a personal loan. The issue with this is he is my boss's boss. I am saving this suggestion for next to last resort.
• Ask "Sweetie" to get a loan in her name and I make the payments to her in advance. This option sounds good, except that "Sweetie" doesn't want to have anything to do with this house because it involved "Ex", and because she feels that my luck is really bad, and that things aren't going to go as planned, and she will end up having to make the payments. This option is last resort.
• Ask my one of my uncles whom I have hardly spoken to for years, to loan me the money. I wasn't a good kid growing up, so there is a little bit of bad blood there. And to top off the situation, my brother had a similar situation a few years ago, and when he asked to borrow a few bucks, they told him they wouldn't help him. And he was the good kid growing up, so this one is beyond the last resort.
• Hope that money falls out of the sky, or that some lucky lottery winner decides to read my blog and show me pity and send me a small portion of his/her winnings. Yeah, I am dreaming, but I figure it's better than having a crime against my imagination - Right Limpy?
• I could petition the government for a grant... or I could sell them a few of my hammers... I understand they were buying a few for a couple grand each a few years ago. Nah, they would probably arrest me, or worse yet, make me work for them.

OK, so I am rambling... but it's what I do.... I am trying really, really hard to be patient for the phone call from the loan company. But it's only 15 minutes until the morning is over, and they did say they would let me know in the morning... Unless their office is in California, or Hawaii, then maybe I have a little more time...

Later Lou

Sweetie Weekeind

If you haven't read my post "Bringing you up to speed" or my Blogger profile, then what are you waiting for... Do it now! Because I can't continue this story unless you are up to speed...

OK. I am going to assume you are like me and are a little lazy and sometimes "skim" rather than read (no I don't do that to everything I read, just boring work stuff mostly), so I will give you the highlights that are pertinent to this story:

• I am a single father of 4 kids, and the oldest is out on her own. The other three switch between their mother's house and mine. My son spends more time at my place than the girls throughout the week, but every other weekend, I get the kids from Friday through Sunday.
• Sweetie is a single mother of two, with her oldest out on her own as well. Her son alternates weekends between her house and his father's place usually on the same schedule as my kids, so on alternate weekends, we have "non kid" time to spend together.
• Back in September, Sweetie told me she was going to "move on", and it prompted a few days of me sulking at home taking a "mental health day" or two.

If you have been reading since then, you may have noticed that I still talk about Sweetie and it seems as if we are still together... Well, we kinda still are. I didn't want to post about this for fear it would "jinx" it and she would keep on "moving on". Anyway, after she said she was moving on, I stopped calling as frequently, but we still spoke occasionally. She invited me up to a dinner with her family a few weeks later, and we talked some more. I was still kinda hanging back giving her some space until 2 weekends ago. We had a non-kid weekend, and she didn't have any plans, so we kinda just 'hung out' together. We had a great time together, and it seemed to re-energize her. Since then we have been talking at our normal pace, and spending more time together. She has seemed more at peace with herself, and more happy lately, and she was using a lot of "we" words when about talking about things, which I take as good signs for the future of our relationship. So right now I am hopeful we will be together for quite some time, as long as I don't push or pressure her. She has been through two failed marriages, and as much as I want her to be my wife, I don't want to push her into something she doesn't want. I am just glad we are together, talking and spending time together. Who knows what the future will bring.

Later Lou

Cell Phones

A couple of weeks ago Sweetie told me that our state was banning the use of hand held cell phones while driving, and that this ban would take affect in November. I, of course, being the "know-it-all" that I am told her that "I find that hard to believe." I wanted to say "You're wrong", but in order to save face in case I wasn't right, and to be polite to the woman I love, I edited myself. The following day in our local newspaper ran the article: "Cell phone users warned of bogus e-mails." The article mentions that the state legislature is considering a ban, but that's all so far, just considering. Apparently the proposed ban hasn't even gotten out of committee yet and hasn't been discussed on the house floor, and at the time of the article (10/10/2007) , it hadn't even had it's first hearing in the committee yet. Well I had to do a short "I told you so" comment to Sweetie, and she politely told me (thankfully) that she was surprised, rather than kicking me in the 'nads for doing a verbal "touch down celebration dance". Apparently she had fell victim to an Email scam that was going around telling people that the cell phone ban was taking place on November 11th. The fraudulent Email didn't just snag Sweetie in it's trap, it apparently also caught a lot of other people, who got upset and started to call their state representatives who were completely taken by surprise because most of them didn't even know about the proposed ban yet. There have now been at least 2 newspaper articles in our local paper, a blurb on the hourly radio newscasts, and a short story on the evening TV newscast. In all of these stories they described this massive response to the government representatives. They talk a lot about how people were duped, and how people should check their facts before forwarding on Emails. Not one of theses commentators dared to mention the fact that there were a lot of people who apparently do NOT want a ban. So to me, it sounds as if this proposed ban, should be shot down before it even gets started. Now before I go any further, let me say, that no one is banning cell phone use completely, only that they are wanting to restrict it so that if you want to use the cell phone, you have to use it 'hands free'. Hands free means using an Earphone, speaker phone, or one of those BlueTooth ear buds. This of course means that you have both hands free to drive, or at least one hand free to drive, and the other free to gesture with as you talk. I personally believe that the ban is wrong, but by saying that I don't mean that it's a good thing for people to use hand held cell phones while driving. I have been on many conversations with people who have had "near misses" while talking to me on the phone (yeah, Sweetie, that would be you). Once I was on the phone having an innocuous conversation with my youngest sister when all of a sudden I heard an usual noise and then silence. I later found out she had been in an small accident, and fortunately she wasn't hurt. I don't know if the innocuous conversation contributed to her accident, but I have to believe it didn't help her avoid it. I believe the ban is wrong only because I don't think the government should restricting our freedom to do stupid things. If we start banning stupid things, how long before they ban me for talking? Later Lou

Traffic violations...

Back at the beginning of September I mentioned I got pulled over on on my way home for speeding, but the trooper ticketed me for an expired inspection instead.

Last week, "Sweetie" did a favor for her cousin and drove her to Pittsburgh to Heinz Field for the Steeler's game. She didn't go to the game because she was expecting guests at her home. On her way back from Pittsburgh she got pulled over for speeding (4o in a 25 mph zone) through a small town a few miles from her home.

The police officer was not the most "pleasant" person she had met. Her apprehension at being stopped and his immediate gruff demeanor, got her so nervious she couldn't extract her driver's license from her wallet. The "understanding" officer told her he couldn't touch her wallet and she had to take it out for him. She started to panic and couldn't get it out.

While she was struggling, the officer decided to push her nerves to the edge. He started asking her questions like: "Where did you come from?" and "Where were you going?" Even though Sweetie was struggling to keep herself together she still had enough wits to ask why those particular questions were relavant to him pulling her over. He promptly informed her that as a police officer he could ask her anything he wanted. His questioning made her feel like she was living in a 3rd world country, or that she was a criminal. I thought in this country we have the freedom to not answer?

Well I decided to do a little research and found an interesting article about why a police officer may ask questions, and what to do. Click here to check it out.

Eventually the officer let her go, but not after giving her a citation for speeding that will cost her over $100.00. Although no one wants to pay $100, that bothered her far less than how this officer treated her.

A few days later I took her out to dinner and at the restaurant was a table of four police officers eating. She almost had a panic attack thinking that the officer that just pulled her over was there. The host that sat us reassured her that they were from the sherrif's office and didn't do traffic stops, and she relaxed a little. The host then preceeded to share with us a story about him getting pulled over on the same road that I got ticketed on in September, and like me he got pulled over for speeding, but got ticketed for the expired inspection instead. I wonder if it was the same police officer?

I have talked to a few friends, and most people feel that police officers are generally gruff, but that the one that pulled over Sweetie was a little more rough than most. I suppose being a police officer is a stressful job, but putting people on the defensive immediately doesn't seem to be an effective way of dealing with the public... Is it?

I know Sweetie's experience with the police hasn't made her feel any more secure, in fact it has done the exact opposite. She is now going out of her way to and from work to avoid the small town she got pulled over in. If the officer's intent was to keep people from visiting his town, he is doing a good job!

Later Lou

Sigh...

Bank Update:

To the bank's credit, they didn't charge me the overdraft fees, as they said they wouldn't. However, I still have a negative balance because an automatic bill payment came out of my account yesterday, and that WILL give me an overdraft charge... So all in all, I lost $105 to the bank in fees this month... (sigh)

Cavalier Update:

Tuesday after "Two's" scout meeting we got the new battery installed. After we brought the car back to the "Ex's" place, and he was backing up in the parking spot, I heard an usual noise from the car. I asked "Two" if he checked the transmission fluid when he was going over the car, and he said he did. He assured me it was checked properly, and had enough fluid in it.

I told him that the transmission sounded bad when he backed up and that he should try a test the next day to see if it was just a noise or a more serious problem. I suggested he drive to the end of "Ex's" drive way, and put the care in reverse and backup the length of the driveway. The driveway has a very slight downward slope, so has he reversed it would be a very slight up hill, just enough to put a little pressure on the transmission.

So this past Wednesday when he got home from school, he did the test. The car didn't pass. It only backed up the driveway about 90% of the way, and then gave out. The car no longer goes in reverse. The optimist in me says, "I am glad we found out now instead of when you were out driving around." The pessimist in me says, "How are we going to come up with the money necessary to fix the transmission?"

"Two" was very upset because the transmission work will cost pretty close to his entire purchase price of the car, and of course he doesn't have the cash now. It will take him about 2½ months to save up the money for the repair.

I am going to take the car to a local transmission shop, and get a proper estimate. The estimate the mechanic gave me over the phone without seeing the car is around $700 for a used transmission or $1,050 to rebuild the existing one. I am hoping that he will give me a better estimate when he sees it. (sigh)

Parking update:

I forgot to move the trash cans I was using as a parking space barrier to the curb. So Thursday morning when the trash collectors came I expected they wouldn't empty the cans... I was wrong, they did... They just emptied them, turned them over, and put them back where I had the barrier setup... SOOOO... I haven't opened up the drive way in front of my garage to see if the neighbor will return... I think after this weekend I will remove the barrier and put the trash cans away... It looks bad with the cans sitting out in the driveway. (sigh)

Bowling update:

We officially sucked as a bowling team last night. Ok, that's just me expressing my extreme displeasure at not winning any games last night. We don't suck completely, just a little bit. The team we played last night was just better than us. Last week however we did win 2 games and total points, so we moved into second place. After this week's loss, I am thinking we will be at the bottom of the list again! (sigh).

Sweetie update:

At the end of the post "Weekend Work...", I said the following:

I am not sure exactly where we "are". We didn't really make up, but we didn't really say we would stay apart... We are somewhere in between.

Well... We are still talking to one another, and planning events and outings together. This upcoming weekend, "Sweetie" mentioned she would like to do something outside like go on a hike or something. Personally I am happy for the opportunity to spend time with her, as I really enjoy being with her, but at the same time I don't want to feel I am forcing her to be with me by my continuing to "chase" her when she has told me she wants to "move on." Maybe this weekend we can have a heart to heart and either decide to try to make a real go of it, or do an actual separation. (sigh) Tenant Update: I still haven't asked my tenants for the October rent... yeah, yeah, yeah... I know I need to be more stern, but I really hate being the "bad guy", or the "mean landlord" and demanding the rent. (sigh) New News: As I was typing this post, my brother just called and told me we finally got a bill for the funeral home. I haven't written about it, but a few months ago, my mother past away. The funeral director was seemingly in no hurry to get his money, and didn't send out the bill for quite some time. Anyway, the bill is for $6,000, and after we use whatever money my Mom had saved, which isn't much, we (my brother, my two sisters and I) have to share the remaining cost. Supposedly my mom had enough money to cover at least half of it so that means I am going to have to come up with about $750. (sigh) Later Lou

Comcast

Comcast is my local cable TV provider, and in the past few years has also been providing a high speed Internet connection, and digital phone service. I have been using Comcast for all of these services for at least 2 years now, and I haven't had any problems with the service, although the billing statements are a little difficult to read and understand. The only other problem I have ever had is that I have a DVR (Digital Video Record) box, and it has "flaked out" a few times and had to be replaced, which caused me to lose some recordings... It replacements didn't cause any major problems, just some annoyance on my part over the lost recordings. "Sweetie" has over the same period of time has had many problems with Comcast. A little over a year ago she switched from Verizon to Comcast for her phone line, and went from dial up Internet access to the Comcast High Speed connection. She only kept both for about a month because her phone service was unreliable and she would lose calls, or get disconnected in the middle of conversations. She switched to back to Verizon phone service, and installed Verizon DSL, but since she could not install a dish at her place, she kept Comcast cable TV. She has had Verizon for almost a year, and the only problem she had with Verizon was the DSL was that it was a little flaky with the wireless router I had installed. So we corrected this by just unhooking the router. Her son, "Other Two," felt the DSL service was slower than Comcast, and as he is apt to do, reminded her constantly about how he wished the Internet was faster. So when she got an good offer and a promise from Comcast that her phone problems would not happen again, she decided to switch back to Comcast. Her installation was scheduled on this past Thursday between 4PM and 8PM. Apparently they have to give a 4 hour window. I mean if the installer would have arrived at 8PM, would you still want him working on it that late at night? Anyway, the install was scheduled while I was at the bowling alley, and to be honest I didn't expect there would be any problems. Around 5:30PM, on my way to the lanes I called her to see if the installer had arrived yet, and she said "No" and was worried they were not going to show. She was also getting pressure from "Other Two" to take him to the YMCA so he could swim. Since she had to wait for the installer to arrive, she couldn't take him to the Y, and he got more frustrated the later it got. I called her on my way home from bowling and found that the installer, Jason, arrived around 6PM, and after a little over 3 hours worth of work he wasn't able to get the phone or Internet working. "Sweetie" was at her wits end and told him that he had to go because she had to get up early for work the next day. Plus "Other Two" freaked out about getting to the Y so she arranged with her Ex to take him down and back, which didn't make her happy. You would think that Comcast would automatically reschedule some one to finish the job the next day, especially if they are customer oriented... Well, Comcast installation/support is FAR from customer oriented, which you should be able to tell by the "4 hour windows" for arrival times. I called Comcast Friday morning (remember she doesn't have a phone now), to get someone to finish the work. They promise me a "second level" tech will be at her place after 4PM. By 8PM, there was no tech at all, first, second or third level. In the mean time I had spoken with a service representative named Tim, ever hour from 5 to 8PM. Each time I was told he was doing everything he could, which was not very effective, since no one showed up. He promised me to talk with a supervisor, which never happened. At 10PM, Tim called me back and did offer me a credit on the billing of $20.00 for our trouble, and attempted to schedule someone on Saturday by 4PM... Gee thanks! Saturday morning, Jason, the original installer called "Sweetie" and said he would like to finish the job, but "Sweetie" was uncomfortable having him come over, as she felt he wasn't competent to do the job. I called Comcast and pleaded to get someone there sooner, but they just weren't able to get there before 4PM. Around 1:30PM, Jason called back and asked again, and at this time I was willing to try anything, so I agreed to meet Jason at "Sweetie's" house to finish the job at 2PM. At 3:40PM, Jason was still working on it, and the scheduled Comcast installers showed up. They talked briefly with Jason, and then explained to me that he was one of their best techs, and they would be doing exactly what he was doing, and taking just as long, because the problem was on the company's side, not Jason's work. 2o minutes later, Jason succeeded in getting the phone and Internet working... FINALLY! I found out later that Jason came to "Sweetie's" house on his own time to finish the job, as he was supposed to have the day off on Saturday. So there are people who care at Comcast. Thanks Jason! Sweetie is up and running, but a little nervous about Comcast because of the rocky start. Hopefully she won't have any other problems, because if not, I think someone at Comcast will be losing a body part. :-) Later Lou

Weekend Work...

I had to go into to work this weekend, since I missed two days earlier this week (my mental health days) and I had a deadline for my project this past Friday. I mentioned earlier that I work for a software company, Retalix, but what I didn't mention is what I do there.

I am a software developer, in otherwords I write computer programs. I get to design, create, and modify the software. Unfortunately, the software I work on isn't as exciting as a game nor it is as well known as Windows, but I have been working on it for over a decade, and to me it's pretty cool. Recently, I have been starting to work on other software products that the company sells and getting some new experience, but my heart is still in the product I have worked on the last 10 years. The deadline I missed is for the product I have been working on.

Since I didn't have the kids this weekend, and "Sweetie" has decided to"move on", I had the time so I stayed at work until around 11PM on Saturday. I got most of the work done Saturday, but I had to go back today to finish it up and test it. Well I got the work done, and it will be ready first thing Monday morning. I will have to spend a little bit of time showing the rest of the team my work and testing it again to insure it works without any issues, and then I will move onto the next project.

Before I went to work this morning, I called "Sweetie" to talk. I was trying to figure out if she really wanted to "move on" without me, or was she just frustrated at the time about something else. Well we talked, and I still don't have the answer to that question. However, she did invite me to stop over after I was done working to visit for a little while. When I got there her father, her daughter "Other One", "Other one's" husband (gotta think of a nickname for him), and "Other Two" were all there. "Other One" even brought their cute dog. So we visited a little bit and then "Other One" had to leave to catch a plane, as she had to fly to Chicago for a business trip. "Sweetie" invited me to stay for dinner and have left overs, which was probably the best food I ate all week... (We won't go into my inability to cook in this post). After "Sweetie" took her father home, we sat and talked briefly before I had to head home because "Two" was coming home to get ready for school this week.

I am not sure exactly where we "are". We didn't really make up, but we didn't really say we would stay apart... We are somewhere in between. I will keep you updated when we determine which way the scales will tip. In the mean time I have to get to bed and go back to work, and try to focus on my life... I need to pay attention to my fianances, and insure that the bills are getting paid, but that's another story for another time.

Later Lou

Mental Health Day

I know that today isn't the "World Mental Health Day", which means it's not October 10th, but I took a Mental Health day off from work today anyways.

Yesterday "Sweetie" told me she wanted to "move on" and not be with me any longer. She didn't say that because she has met anyone else (that I know of) or because I am treating her bad or anything that I am aware of... and knowing her, I am sure she would have told me if I was... no she is "moving on" because we can't seem to agree on some things... specifically my "baggage".

If you read my profile (see it's on the right of this blog), or have read any number of posts in this blog then you know I am a single father with four wonderful kids (one of which is on her own now). Well she wants someone without baggage, or someone with a lighter load. I know that sounds bad, but she wants what any woman would want... (I think anyway)... A man who will devote himself to her completely, and since I see my kids pretty regulary I can't be with her all the time. She has her own kids (one of which is on her own now as well), and she doesn't want to be the "Brady Bunch".

We have been dating for quite some time (almost 5 years), and I kept hoping that she would warm up to the idea, and come to not only accept it, but enjoy it, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I really love her, but I can't stay in the relationship if she can't accept me for me... and unfortunately for the situation "me" is a father of 4 (3 still under 18).

The biggest thing she doesn't enjoy, and for this I don't blame her, is the things that I go through with "Ex". She dropped a house on me recently, not like Wizard of Oz, but she abandoned the marital home, and now it's my responsibility. "Sweetie" thinks I should just get rid of it, and even though I would love to, it's not really that simple. To get rid of it, I need to sell it, and in it's current state, no one wants it. So I have to fix it up with money I don't have, and hope to sell it or rent it. With the market being what it is recently, I am sure selling isn't an option any time soon. "Sweetie" doesn't want to share the responsibility of that baggage either. Again, I don't blame her for that, I don't want it either, but I don't really have a choice.

I don't blame her for any of her feelings... She has had a lot of crap in her life, and she just wants an uncomplicated relationship, or at least an uncomplicated life. My baggage makes our relationship and her life complicated. She has a choice to be a part of my complications or not, and she is choosing not to... I sometimes wish I could make that choice... but if I did, I would miss out on all of the things I enjoy... my kids, her, her kids, my work, my friends, and everything in between...

I want it all including the complications, and apparently that's not how it's going to happen.

"Sweetie" if you read this, please know that I love you and I always will. I want to be with you, but I can't stop being me. Hopefully someday you may change your mind and join me on my roller coaster, but if not, I understand and will still love you and want you to be happy. You are more to me than a girlfriend, you are my best friend, and I miss you already. You helped me to become more than I thought I ever could be, and I hope you will always think fondly of me.

Later Lou

Happy Birthday Sweetie

Happy Birthday "Sweetie"!

You are the best, and deserve at least 100 or so more great birthdays!

---

Today is "Sweetie's" birthday. So I am hoping for a little birthday grace, so that she will forgive me for causing things to run a foul yesterday.

It all started yesterday morning (Sunday)... It became a huge lounge day. I had planned to go finish up the yard work at the old marital home that we started last Wednesday. But all day rain kept me inside and on the couch. The few times I did get out of the house were to take "Two" to work and back, and then later out to a friends house to work on a group homework assignment. I can't say that it was uneventful, as I was able to upset "Sweetie", which of course is something I am apparently pretty good at. This fact and her being sad depressed me, and probably contributed to my continued lack of desire to get off the couch later in the day. Might have also contributed to my feeling of 'raining' inside as well as out. Here's the short story:

I tried a few times over the weekend to find a opportunity we could see each other with or without the kids, and it seemed that going out for lunch or dinner might be the perfect opportunity. It's all good on paper... Anyway, because of "Two's" work schedule and his need to get to his friends house later after work, I wasn't able to schedule the dinner at Olive Garden at a time that worked for her. I made things complicated because she, sensibly, wanted to go early to avoid the wait, and I couldn't go till later. She got upset with me for making things complicated, and went without me.

Why does it have to be complicated all the time to arrange things. I sometimes wish I was 17 or 18 again without a responsibility in the world and could do what I wanted when I wanted... Then of course I would miss all of the unexpected fun things that do happen and I would miss the sense of accomplishment when something works out... but then again I would also miss the sense of disappointment when it doesn't... hmmm... Later Lou

Bring you up to speed.

It's been awhile since I have posted. I don't have any big reason or excuse as to why I didn't post. I just didn't, and I am not going to spend time trying to analyze why, I am just going to move forward and start posting again. I presume most readers (if I had any) gave up checking for updates... So that means I have a new opportunity to start over again with a new audience. If you are reading this, then you are part of that new audience!

So let's get started with the updates:

The biggest update is I am still here, and I am still alive, and I am still healthy. Woo Who!!!

Let me take a moment to give a little background about myself, and a little review of recent history, and then we can move forward.

I am a single parent with four kids. My oldest (we will call her "One") has left the nest and is on her own. She is working full time and managing her own home in Ohioville, PA with her fiancè (we will call him "PlusOne"). "One" and "PlusOne" haven't set a date for their marriage yet, but are doing well. The other three kids are living between my house and the Ex's house. My second oldest (we will call him "Two") who is a senior in high school, is living primarily with me, and the two youngest girls ("Three" and "Four") are living primarily with Ex. "Three" is a junior in high school, and "Four" is in middle school.

I have been on my own since February 2000, and I have moved quite a few times, improving my living places as finances allowed. I have been living in my current home for over 3 years, and just recently (May 2007) I bought the building. The building is a duplex, and I have rented out the second apartment, which is helping to defer the cost of the mortgage.

I am a computer programmer working for an international company with HQ in Israel, and has a main office in Dallas, Texas. I live and work in Western Pennsylvania, near Pittsburgh.

I am dating a wonderful woman (we will call her "Sweetie") who is a nurse, and a mother of two. Her oldest (we will call her "Other One") has also left the nest, has graduated college, gotten married, and is now working full time. Her youngest (we will call him "Other Two") is in High School. We have been dating for quite a few years, and we currently aren't talking about marriage, but who knows what the future might hold... You will have to stay tuned to find out more on that topic.

So now that you know a little about me, let me tell you a little about what's been happening in my life.

The last 6 months have seen a lot of changes in my life. First, as I have already mentioned, I became a homeowner in May. It's the first time since 2000 that I have owned property. Even though it's been almost 6 months since I bought the place, I am still thinking like a renter rather than an owner. The building needed some serious roof work when I purchased it, and a few other minor repairs. I got all of that done, and rented out the second apartment, and any day now I will be receiving my 3rd rent payment. It's a unique experience having someone else pay you rent. I have good tenants that pay rent on time, which I understand is a rare thing... So I hope they stay for quite some time! :-)

Buying my home was planned, and took 4-5 months to complete, but I am very happy with my decision. However, the second house I have acquired was not planned. Yeah, you read correctly, I have two properties. In June, Ex decided she no longer wished to pay for our old marital home. In August of 2006 she purchased a new home, and had been trying to sell the old marital home since then, but couldn't find a buyer. Her finances grew tight with the mortgages from both the old home and her new home, and she felt she could no longer afford the old house, so she just stopped paying the mortgage (actually there are two for that house, but that's not really important). She attempted to arrange a "short sale" with the mortgage holder, but I stopped it. Why would I stop it? Well it's actually quite simple: The mortgages were still in my name as she did not refinance after the divorce, and I did not want my credit score to be screwed over by a "near foreclosure". So to prevent the almost foreclosure, I had to take over the property, and pay the mortgages myself.

The cost of taking over the property (2 months of back mortgages, and title transfer fees) was approximately $1,800.00. Since I just spent all available cash I had on the purchase of my home, I didn't have the cash. I asked Ex to pay half and I would pay the other half, and then she wouldn't have to worry about the property any longer. I thought she agreed with that, but apparently didn't so when I withheld a support payment, she took me to court. Two unexpected things happened at the court hearing: I did not have to pay her for the withheld payment, and they lowered the amount of money I pay her each month. The only negative was that they now withhold the support payment from my paycheck instead of me paying her directly.

The marital home is in extreme disrepair. The roof needs replaced, water damage, and other damage inside the house needs to be repaired before someone can move into the place. I haven't decided if I will sell the place, or if I will fix up the place and live in it, or rent it. I don't think I can sell it easily since Ex wasn't able to sell it, and there are many homes in the area for sale, as well as the current housing market problems. So that leaves fixing it up, and either living in it or renting it. I could probably rent it pretty easily as it is very near a college, however, if it is fixed up, it would be a nicer place than where I am living now, and I could just rent out the other half of the duplex I am living in now.

So that's big financial stories, now onto the more important family stories. "Two" and "Other Two" spent the summer as counselors at Boy Scout camp. "Two" is currently ranked second in his class, and is trying very hard to get to first by the end of the year. He is also trying to decide what he is going to do next year for college, and he is trying to get his driver's license. "Three" just turned 16 last month and is spending most of her time with Ex. She hasn't been coming over to my house recently, and I am not exactly sure why, although I have heard it's because she thinks I have a flea problem in my house and I don't believe her. I haven't found any fleas yet, and I have sprayed. "Four" is coming along, and is spending something like 70% of her time with Ex, and the rest with me. All of the younger kids are now in their second week of school, and are still getting acclimated to getting up in the morning, and completing homework in the evenings.

Today "Four" said she wasn't feeling well and didn't want to go to school. She didn't look sick, and didn't feel feverish, so I sent her to school and told her to see the nurse if she didn't feel well. I hope she is OK, and will make it through the day. It's hard to tell if she is sick because she has not always been honest in the past about her health.

Tonight I am going with "Sweetie", "Two" and "Other Two" to the marital home, and we are going to do some major yard work. The lawn has gotten a little out of control.

The next post I will put up some pictures, and I will do my best to update more often!

Later

Out of it...

To the few readers of this Blog, I must apologize for the lack of anything new since Feb. 22nd. I got a few new toys, and I was way too wrapped up in playing with them than just about anything else. As you know I got the new 30" Widescreen HDTV and the DVR to go with it. Well I also got a new DVD burner, and a new DVD player. I have been spending all my free time burning DVD's. I have already used just about 1/3 of the blanks I bought, and they came in a tube of 100 blanks! I am spending so much time creating the DVD's I don't have time to use them, so I decided I need to slow down a little bit. :-) Well believe it or not, but I did do a few other things this past week. My mom was in the hospital for a "near heart attack". She went in Saturday and got out on Thursday. She has had a kidney problem most of her life, so this heart thing was pretty serious. The good news is she appears to be doing much better. When she got out on Thursday I stopped over to her place, and helped her get her groceries. I haven't been shopping with my mom in years. I also visited my great-aunt Mary Thompson, who is in a local nursing home. She isn't doing as well as my mom, but she is keeping her spirits up. I was supposed to go see her again with my brother this past weekend, but I was out on a date with my girlfriend. I hope she is still hanging in there. My girlfriend took me out to see the show "Wicked". I don't get to go to the theater very often, so I was really looking forward to the show. We got there, and our seats were at the very back of the theater, but we could still see everything pretty good. The show was very, very good. I highly recommend it! It creates a whole new way to look at the classic movie "Wizard of Oz." Hopefully I brought you up to speed of the things going on in my world... Maybe the next post I will update you on the rest of western PA! :-)

Keys

Here's a story.... But before I start, you must understand a few things.... I really enjoyed the Disney movie about that smart guy that couldn't remember anything..... I have tried really hard to be just like him throughout my life. This past weekend I planned to go over to to my girlfriends house to help her remodel her small bathroom. She had to work in the morning, and I was supposed to go to her house while she was working, and get things started. I started Saturday by sleeping in, and I got to her house in the early afternoon, instead of the early morning. After getting to her place I realized that in order to take the sink and fixtures out of the room, I would some tools that she didn't have at her place. Fortunately, she lives only a short distance from my place, so I drove back home to get what I needed. I went in the back door, turned on the lights in the garage, where I keep the tools. I set down the stuff in my hands (read keys) and started to dig out the appropriate tools . After rooting around a few minutes I decided just to take the entire tool box, and figure it out there. I also grabbed set of special "locking pliers" that I got for a present a few years back. So with my hands full of tools I exited the garage, and closed the door behind me. I have a bad habit (or good depending on your point of view, from my point of view at this point it's bad), of locking doors as I walk through them. So, when I entered the garage, I locked the door, but kept it open slightly so I could get back out. When I left the garage, I pulled the door shut with my foot, as my hands were full. Soooo... When I get to the car to put the tools in the back I fumble around looking for the car keys that should be in my pocket to unlock the trunk of the car. Now the truly bad habit I have is that I don't always put the keys into my pocket when I am not using them, and yet I still expect them to be there when I need them. In this particular case they were definitely not in my pocket. They were lying on the shelf near where the tool box just recently sat, behind a locked door I just pulled shut with my foot. I tried the "credit card" trick on both doors to my apartment. The front door was has a dead-bolt lock, which I had locked earlier, and the backdoor shuts very tight, and there is no room to get the card between the door and the frame. Needless to say, my place is pretty safe against the average criminal with plastic card. Since I am not a professional criminal, I resorted to the next best thing... No, I didn't break a window, but that would have been less humiliating... I called my oldest daughter and beg her to come open the door to her Dad's apartment because he is getting too old to remember to take the keys with him when he leaves the building. She groans, and reluctantly agrees to help. While I am waiting for her to arrive, I find that the car isn't locked. I can sit in the car, and get out of the cold weather and listen to the radio while she takes her time to get to my place. Boredom sets in very, very quickly, and looking around the car I see the keys to my girlfriends place that she loaned me to get into her place while she is gone. Unfortunately, none of those keys open my apartment, but they give me something to focus on for a few minutes. I start wondering what all of these keys are for. A few look like door keys, one looks like a car key, and a few others I couldn't really identify. While I am looking at the keys an unusual thought crosses my mind... I wonder if any of these keys would fit in my ignition and start my car... Yep, you are right, that idea is as dumb as it sounds, but it didn't stop me from trying. You see where as I have mastered the absent-mindedness of that Disney movie I mentioned earlier, I have not mastered the smart "professor" part. So anyways, back to the story... I found a key that actually slid into the ignition, but of course didn't turn. I was surprised, because the key doesn't look anything like my car key and I was amazed at how it went in to the ignition like it was the right type of key. So I decided to see if any other keys went into the ignition like that. Well, the only other one that would go in was the actual key to my girlfriend's place, which was marked with a "pink" ring around the key. That key however only went halfway into the ignition, and.... It wouldn't come back out! No matter want I did: twist, turn, wiggle, jiggle, push, pull, scream, or cry, the key refused to exit the steering column of the car. My daughter was going to arrive any minute which meant I could get my keys, but what good would it do? I would not be able to use the keys to drive back to my girlfriends house to work on the bathroom! More fidgeting, fiddling, or fumbling did not extricate the key. I thought I was humiliated by asking my daughter to help me get into my apartment there was no way I could bear to tell her what I did or anyone else for that matter. So when she got to the house and let me in I found the phone book and called a locksmith that has emergency services. A little over an hour later and $75.00 less the locksmith had removed the key, and the ignition and key suffered no damage. Since the locksmith never asked how the key got stuck, I never told him. I am hoping he doesn't think it was me! :-) So I learned that even though that professor on that Disney movie both forgetful and smart, in the real life being forgetful is a sign of costly stupidity.

Bathroom Upgrade - Progress Report

I have been told by my son that my posts are too long, so I will make this brief. I put the second coat of paint on the "powder room" last night. While it was drying we found a few blemishes in the paint, specifically in the wall underneath the paint... So I am going to attempt to spackle those spots again, and repaint them. I hope I can smooth the blemishes out. The next step is to install the new flooring. We got those 1' x 1' vinyl floor tiles. The existing flooring is just one large piece of vinyl. I have to figure out how to cut the tiles around the toilet without it looking like a "hack job". Any advice?

Bathroom Upgrade

My girlfriend has decided to remodel a small "powder room" in the master bedroom of her town home. It had flowering wallpaper, an old sink that was clogged, and a 60's looking medicine cabinet. She had recently had a new toilet installed because the old one was leaking. Well last weekend we stopped into Home Depot, and after about 3 hours of shopping, we picked out a new paint, a new flooring, a new sink, new medicine cabinet, new lighting, and new towel racks. We picked out everything necessary to remodel the powder room, except the toilet. The only decision left was whether or not to spend the money. Home Depot made this decision easier because they had a 6-month same as cash deal for purchases over $250.00. So this weekend before the "big game" we removed the sink, the medicine cabinet, and pulled off all of the wallpaper. We scraped and picked until all of the wallpaper was off. We then sanded off the remaining little pieces and hardened glue that we could not scrape. The walls had been painted a few times, and wall papered a few times, and so there were a few layers to remove to get back down to the bare walls. After cleaning up the walls, we spackled in the holes, ridges and gouges left from our scraping, and earlier "remodeling" projects. We had to wait until the next day for the spackling, so we decided to stop for the night. The next day, SuperBowl day, we sanded down the spackling, cleaned the walls, and put on the first coat of paint. The look of the room improved 100% just from the first coat. The project is not done yet, we still need to put the second coat of paint, and install the flooring. When that is done, we can put the sink, medicine cabinent, lighting, and towel racks in. We didn't get a picture of the bathroom before we started, but I took a few pictures of the room at the end of the first two days of work. I will upload them here later, if she doesn't mind. :-)

I miss my best friend.

It's only been three days, but it seems like an eternity. I want to talk to her, but I don't think she wants to talk to me. I feel like I have become a thorn to her rose. I am not the poet my son is, so I don't have the words to express my feelings, so I guess I will just say, "I miss my best friend." I hope she is happy. Later Lou